


The Colonel and his Lieutenants - a series of drabbles

by waddiwasiwitch



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Havolina, Mentions of Suicide, Royai - Freeform, Team Mustang - Freeform, Wedding!Fic, Young Royai
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-05-04 14:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 22,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5338079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waddiwasiwitch/pseuds/waddiwasiwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of Royai and Havolina drabbles. These may or may not be linked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wedding Jitters of another kind

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Runningalchemist on Tumblr for the prompt.
> 
> Thank you again so much for giving me a chance to write on of my favourite friendships.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, but I do like play with them.  
> 

**********

Looking at her pale reflection, Riza found herself wanting. Her face looked much too pale despite the make up that she was wearing.  
“Oh Riza! Can you believe that I’m really getting married today?”  
Riza turned around to face her best friend, who was wearing an ivory floor length dress and her hair was piled on the top of her head with ends curled. She looked every inch the perfect bride.  
“Rebecca, Jean is a lucky man.”  
“I know, right?”  
“Mustang is going to lose it when he sees you today.”  
Riza did like her dress. Bridesmaid dresses were often hideous, but Rebecca’s choice of a pale blue dress with a high back and no sleeves was a relief. She forced a smile as Rebecca continued to extol the virtues of her dressmaker.  
Riza wasn’t feeling well and she wished she hadn’t eaten the porridge that morning. She could feel the food rising up in the back of her throat, but she quickly swallowed it down.  
“Riza?” Rebecca’s eyebrows were knitted in worry, “Riza, are you okay?”  
Despite the roiling in her stomach, Riza was determined to beat it today.  
“I’m fine,” she lied, before her stomach could take no more. A moment later, she was keeled over, a puddle of vomit on her shoes and splattered on her dress.  
“Clearly, you’re not fine,” Rebecca’s tone was offset by the concern in her eyes.  
She put her arms around her and led her to the ensuite rest room.  
“Be careful, you’ll get some on your dress.”  
“Nonsense, like I care about that when you’re ill.” She shoved Riza in the direction of the chair placed beside the toilet. “Are you going to get sick again?”  
Riza shook her head and wiped her mouth with her hand. “Some maid of honour, huh?”  
Rebecca went to the sink and passed Riza a facecloth.  
Riza looked up at Rebecca with a pitiful expression. “I’m sorry..”  
“Don’t be an idiot. Mustang’s rubbing off on you. You need to get him to take you home and put you to bed.”  
Riza sighed, “That was the problem in the first place.”  
“What are you talking about?” Rebecca went back to the sink and came over with a glass of water, “Drink this up.”  
Riza took the glass gratefully to relieve the eggy taste in her mouth. She felt a pressure on her feet as her friend wiped the vomit from her shoes. Looking at her best friend on her knees on her wedding day worrying and taking care of her on the day she was getting married filled Riza with guilt.  
“Rebecca, I’m not sick,”she admitted.  
“What do you mean? You just puked all over yourself!”  
“I’m pregnant!” Riza rubbed at her eyes, which were starting to water. “It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. I was planning on telling you after your honeymoon.”  
Rebecca abandoned her cleaning and lifted her wide eyed gaze to Riza. “Are you going to keep the baby and raise it?”  
“Of course, I’ve always wanted kids even though I never thought it could happen.”  
“Oh Riza!” Rebecca threw her arms around her. “This is the best wedding present ever! You got knocked up for us!”  
Riza started to smile, “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner.”  
“So then, tell me Mustang’s going to the honourable thing right and marry you, right?”  
Despite all Rebecca’s barbs about Roy, Riza knew that Rebecca was aware of how committed both of them were to one another, but as Riza’s friend Rebecca often felt her friend deserved better than an illicit relationship.  
Riza’s dress was high at the front and she reached and pulled her necklace from under her dress with a gorgeous ring hanging from it. It was a small silver band with a small diamond.  
Rebecca squealed loudly, “I’ll be your maid of honour, right? Promise me you won’t elope without me.”  
“I promise.”  
“So, what are you and Mustang going to do? I mean you’re breaking the law by being together.”  
“We are going to have to go to the Fuhrer and the Board of Generals to plead our case.”  
“The Fuhrer’s your grandfather, I’m sure he’d make an exception.”  
“If it was just him perhaps, but he has to keep the Board happy too. I think he would want me to resign my position as it would be the least damaging and I think he likes the idea of having a bunch of grandkids.”  
‘What is it that you want?”  
“I want to continue to work with the General and help him achieve his goals. All we can do is hope they see it our way.”  
“Playing it by ear doesn’t sound like Mustang’s style.”  
“Well, he’s willing to accept a demotion rather than be forced to stop working together. I can’t let him do that, not when it could ruin everything we’ve worked for and it’s not just us. A lot of people have made sacrifices to keep pushing him to the top.”  
Rebecca made a scoffing sound, “People would look on him better if he took the blame and took a demotion rather than the man who threw his wife to the wolves.”  
“That’s what Roy said too.” Riza bit her lip. “ Are you sure you haven’t been talking with him?” she joked.  
“Well surprisingly even that idiot does make sense from time to time.”  
Rebecca disappeared for a moment and Riza heard her call out.  
“Mustang, you bastard! Get in here, you’re needed.” She peered back into the restroom at Riza. “He got you into this state, he can help clean up the mess.”  
Riza wasn’t fooled, her friend could sense that right now he was who she needed.  
There was a light knock on the door and Riza peeked out of the restroom. Rebecca opened the door a fraction, “It better not be you Jean.”  
“Good it’s you.”  
The sound of Roy’s familiar voice warmed Riza. “What’s wrong?”  
Rebecca pulled him into the room by the tie and closed the door behind him..  
“Congratulations!” Amused, Riza watched as her friend kissed him on the cheek, “You don’t deserve her, but you better treat her well or you’ll have me to answer to.”  
Roy’s mouth opened and closed like a fish. Rebecca pushed him to the ensuite bathroom, “I’ll give you five minutes, but I can’t give you any longer if I’m going to get married today.”  
Roy eyes widened as he lay his eyes on Riza.  
“Hey!” He rushed to her side and crouched down beside her chair. “ Are you okay?”  
He leaned over and gently cradled her face with his right hand.  
“Morning sickness.”  
He knelt on his knees and pulled her to him, rubbing soothing circles on her back. “Do you want to go home?”  
“No, I’m going to watch my best friend get married even if I feel like shit.  
He kissed her on the forehead, “Let’s get you cleaned up properly and go watch Havoc commit himself to that harpy.”

Fin


	2. The Wedding Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is Ed and Winry's wedding, Roy reflects on his relationship with Riza. Featuring jealous!Roy, which I always enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written as a prompt request for fangirl4you on Tumblr: Hang on a minute. Are you jealous? 
> 
> Thank you so much for this excuse to write jealous Roy as it is always fun. I hope you enjoy this, dear.
> 
> Disclaimer: I wish I did own fma, but sadly this will never happen.

Today was the day of the Fullmetal alchemist tied the knot with his pretty mechanic. Roy Mustang had looked forward to the excuse to return to the East for the festivities and especially to spend some time in the company of his friends and colleagues without the pressures of work.

Nevertheless, Roy wasn’t a big fan of weddings. There were some perks to weddings though like seeing his friends smile – Hughes with his arm around his bride, young Edward with Winry and the feeling of joy that was so rare in these times. However, it was also a kind of torture in of itself. They made him remember all the things he had willingly given up. There was also the advantage of seeing Riza in a dress. When she had arrived in a stunning red dress that was a little lower cut around the bust than he had expected, he had stared like an idiot and stammered a hello. She had blushed a little at his obviousness and had been avoiding him since. Well, that wasn’t entirely true, she had sat by his side for the ceremony, but had not said a word to him. 

Rather than a sit down meal the Elrics had a buffet dinner and Roy stood by the table, a glass of wine in his hand. He had spent the last half hour watching Riza go from dance partner to dance partner as all the members of his team wanted to dance with her. She looked so beautiful, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were smiling. He had not seen her so care free in a long time. That was a good thing, right? Then why was he fighting the urge to slug the next person to ask her to dance? Why did his insides twist when Fuery made her smile, when Havoc made her spin around until she was dizzy and when Breda made her laugh? She would need some food and a drink soon enough, so he figured this was probably the best to brood.  
Roy’s gloveless fingers snapped instinctively as Riza was manhandled into a hug by Major Armstrong.  
“You know if you weren’t standing over here like a thundercloud, somebody might ask you to dance.”  
Roy turned his head, “Is that an offer, Edward?”  
“You wish, bastard, but then I have a wife to dance with. Maybe if you get one, you won’t have to stand here like a wall flower.”  
“I don’t feel like dancing,” Roy lied. “And you’re just like Hughes telling me to get a wife.”  
Roy’s eyes went involuntarily back to Riza, who had finally stopped dancing and was talking with Gracia and Elicia.  
“Hmmm.”  
Roy’s head snapped back to the bride groom. “What?”  
“Hang on a minute. Are you jealous?”  
“Jealous of what?”  
“Come on, Mustang. Nobody missed that slack jawed expression on your face earlier. It was almost as bad as my face when Winry walked in.”  
“I’m not jealous.” Roy chose to ignore the rest of the former Fullmetal alchemist’s loaded statement.  
“Do us all a favour and ask her to dance.”  
Before Roy could retort that it would be inappropriate, Edward added, “These people are all friends that aided you in coup against the government, do you really think that they would hand you in over a little fraternisation law?” Edward shook his head, “How on earth did you make Brigadier General?”  
Roy found himself speechless for the second time that day, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.  
“I’ll see you around, Mustang.” Edward waved over his shoulder as he headed back to his new wife.  
The kid was laughing at him. How dare he? A hand landed on his shoulder and he whirled around to see he was nose to nose with Riza Hawkeye.  
“It’s just me, sir.” Flushing, she let go of his shoulder and took a step backward.  
Just Riza Hawkeye was something that could never apply to that woman.  
He smiled, “You looked like you were having fun out there.”  
‘Yes – I was, but I think I can spare you a dance, Roy.”  
Maybe weddings weren’t so bad after all.  
  
Fin


	3. Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Features a stubborn sick!Roy and his no- nonense Lieutenant. Takes place shortly after Hughes' death. Fluff - inexcusable fluff. Written for the fma-fic-contest on Livejournal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Allergic Reaction  
> 500 words  
> Characters: Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye (hints of Royai if you squint)  
> Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise  
> Rating: General

Prompt: Allergic Reaction  
500 words  
Characters: Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye (hints of Royai if you squint)  
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise  
Rating: General  
Summary: Features a stubborn sick!Roy and his no- nonense Lieutenant. Takes place shortly after Hughes' death. Fluff - inexcusable fluff.

 

**Fever**

“Sir! Wake up!”  
Roy stirred and lifted his head from the desk, where he had been drooling on his paperwork. Rubbing his eyes, he noticed Riza’s pursed lips and creased forehead. He was surprised when she leaned in and felt his temple.  
“You’re warm,” she scolded. “You’re running a fever.”   
“I must be allergic to paperwork.”  
“You need to go home, sir.”  
“No, there’s too much to do. I’m on the cusp of something I can tell.”   
“On the cusp of sleep,” she retorted, “You’ve already dozed off at your desk three times today and that’s a record even for you.”  
“I have to do this for Hughes.” Even as he spoke, he was facing a fighting battle to keep his eyes open.  
Riza shook her head, “You aren’t doing this for Hughes. You’re doing it for yourself. For revenge.”  
He shrugged, “Does it really matter? I have to do this, I can sleep when I’ve solved the case.”  
“Yes – it does matter, because you are working yourself into an early grave.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “ Go home, get some rest and you can pick up where you left off on Monday.”  
“When did you become the superior officer? You forget yourself far too often, Lieutenant Hawkeye.”  
There was no real heat in his words, just mild irritation. Still, he couldn’t ignore the brief hitch in her voice, he could tell she was concerned, worried for him. And he knew how was going to give in, because he never wanted to cause her pain.  
“When you enlisted me to watch your back ,sir, you also gave me permission to tell you when you are being an idiot.” She paused. “And right now, you’re being an idiot.”  
He was loath to leave the office, but perhaps she had a point.

The following morning around noon, Roy was cocooned in his bed feeling worse rather than better. The doorbell rang and he burrowed into the pillows, hoping the person would go away. When the ringing continued, he rose unsteadily from his bed and made his way to the door. He opened the door with a “What do you want?”, and was surprised to see Riza standing there.  
“Lieutenant?”  
“Sir!” Her eyes widened and darted to to his chest.  
He looked down and realised he was shirtless. “Like what you see, Lieutenant?”  
“You look terrible, sir. I’m sorry to get you out of bed, but I wanted to make sure you would eat.”   
“Well don’t just stand there! Come on in. Excuse me for a moment and I’ll make myself presentable.”  
She followed him inside and he heard the door bang as he rushed into his bedroom and grabbed a t-shirt.   
A delicious smell reached his nose and when he returned to the living area, Riza was holding out a bowl, “Chicken broth.”  
Roy raised an eyebrow, “You made that for me?”  
She inclined her head.  
“I should get sick more often,” he joked.  
“I can’t say that I would recommend that, sir.”

Fin

Endnotes: I hope you liked it.


	4. The Dark at the End of the Tunnel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy Mustang is missing and it's up to Riza and the team to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for a prompt ask on Tumblr for madameschristmas. Please don’t hate me, but this quite dark.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise  
> Rating: Teen and Up  
> Warnings: Blood loss and Injury

  
********  
Riza Hawkeye held her gun high and a torch in her other hand. She could feel the dampness in the air and her nostrils were full of the stench of death. Good things never happened in this place. She had not been in the underground tunnels since the Promised Day. She had not missed them. Her heart thumped against her chest as she followed Hayate.  
“Find him, boy. Find General Mustang.”  
They had separated into three pairs to comb the tunnels in search of their missing superior officer: Havoc and Breda, Fuery and Falman, and Riza and Hayate.

The first time that she realised that there was something wrong was when her superior officer never came back from lunch. She ignored the nervous ache in her stomach until the clock struck 14:00 hours and she discovered the remains of a burnt note in the trash can. Roy Mustang had gone and done something stupid again, and she was going to rescue him as usual. A group of alchemists had shown interest in learning the secret of Flame alchemy and it was highly likely they were the ones that captured him.

Hayate barked up ahead, and Riza had to run to catch up with him. Her dog was sniffing at the ground and with horror Riza realised there was a pool of dried blood on the ground. She gasped, her hand went to her mouth.  
No, no, this was good. This meant that they were on the right track. Hayate tilted his head and looked up at her.  
“Good boy,” she assured him. “Go get him!”   
Terrified of what she was going to find up ahead, she followed Hayate. There were droplets of dried blood every few metres. She had known he was injured; the little girl they found with the General’s coat outside the entrance was proof of that.  
The child had been used as a bargaining tool and their superior officer had handed himself over in exchange for the child’s safety. The tracker Riza placed in the General’s coat that morning had proofed useful, but not as helpful as it might have been. 

Everywhere she looked, the walls were the same. The only reason that she wasn’t going around in circles was Hayate’s nose.  
Riza turned the corner and the tunnel opened up into a wider area. Hayate started to bark and Riza gasped at what she saw. Roy was lying there is a pool of his own blood, so much of it that she could not even tell where he was injured. The smell of smoke was in the air and the remains of ashes on the floor around him indicated that he had recently been using his flame alchemy. There was a crumpled heap in a corner and Riza stiffened. At first glance she had assumed that it was a man, but the tail peaking out from his pants told her otherwise: a chimera.  
“It’s ok, he’s dead,” Roy whispered.  
“General!” She rushed over to him and knelt down next to him, “You’re hurt.”   
“Ha – I’m dying, Lieutenant.” There was a bubble of blood at the side of his mouth and his face was chalky white. Riza swallowed a lump, she couldn’t cry. She was going to get him out of here.  
“Don’t be stupid, you’re too stubborn to die.” She clicked her tongue, “Hayate go get Fuery and the rest of the men. Bring them here.”  
Hayate barked in response and fled the room.  
“Where are you hurt?” She reached to check his body for the source of the crimson liquid.  
He caught her hand, “I’m sorry, Lieutenant, I was able to hold them off for now, but more will come.”  
“It doesn’t matter, we will take care of them. The rest of the team is on the way and we’ve called for back up.” She pulled her hand from his, “Where are injured?”  
“Listen, Riza-” He coughed and the blood spattered her uniform.   
She pulled a handkerchief from her coat pocket and wiped at his mouth, “Roy, just stop talking, you need to conserve your energy.”  
“It’s too late.” He shook his head, “Riza, when the men come, you’re going with them.”  
“I’m not leaving you here to die. Roy, I am not going anywhere without you.”  
She looked away from him and concentrated instead on locating his injury. She carefully opened his blood soaked shirt. Seeing no visible injury there, she reached behind his back.   
He grunted in pain as her fingers connected with bone that was protruding from a gaping wound in his skin, “You know the men won’t leave me behind without your permission. You’re the next in command.”  
She took off her coat and pulled him up as gently as she could, “I’ve gone up against Homunculi, do you really think alchemists and chimeras scare me?”  
She placed the coat behind him to put pressure against the injury.  
“I’m not going to make it out of here, you have to accept it. You know what it means to make the hard decisions. You’re the only one I trust to do this”  
“Stop talking that way, General.” She finally let her eyes meet his again.  
“You’re letting your emotions rule you.” He started to cough up blood again, “You’re listening to your heart instead of your head. There’s one thing worse than me bleeding out, it’s them finding you and the secrets to flame alchemy.”  
The sound of gun fire caused both of them to freeze. The men had obviously found Roy’s captors.  
Roy grabbed both of her hands, his eyes wide, “Put a gun to my temple if you have to. Just don’t let them find you.”  
“Shut up! I won’t abandon you.”  
A familiar bark rent the air and Hayate entered followed by Fuery, Falman, Havoc and Breda.  
Havoc was the first to speak, “Shit, boss.”  
“Come on, help me get him out of here.” She nodded at Breda and Falman, who immediately helped pick up their superior.   
“Fuery, run ahead and radio for medical attention. Take Hayate with you.”  
“Yes, sir.”  
Havoc, you take the back, and I’ll take point.”  
The General was beginning to look paler if that was possible. “I swear Riza, if I get out here, I will be court-martialling you. Actually, I’ll court martial all of you.”  
“No offence, sir, but right now Hawkeye is more terrifying,” Jean replied. “I’d suggest that you save your energy.”

  
Several hours later, an exhausted but relieved Riza sat by the General’s bedside. She had rebuffed all the nurses’ attempted to get her to go home and have a good night’s sleep. She wanted to be there when he woke. By the time, they had escaped the tunnel, Roy had lost consciousness. Riza reflected on how lucky they were in finding him when they did. The doctors had said that had they been much later the General would have died. When Roy finally opened his eyes, Riza was starting to dose.   
She sat up straight in the chair and moved it closer to the bed, “You took your time waking up.”  
“I was sure I was going to die.”  
“It seems like I know you better than you know yourself, sir.”  
“I’m sorry.” He squeezed his eyes shut and inhaled deeply. “I was being selfish by asking you to leave me behind.”  
He opened them, perhaps expecting to see anger. There was none.  
She shrugged, “Maybe, I was being selfish too, I couldn’t bear to go on without you even if it was risk that the secrets to your alchemy would be discovered.”  
“We’re both fools then,” he said with a small smile.  
A tear escaped her eye and worked its way down her cheek. “Do you forgive me?”   
“Can you ever forgive me?”  
They didn’t need to say anymore.

Fin


	5. When the Lieutenant's away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riza returns to find the office in disarray!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written as a prompt on tumblr for Wonderlandweird.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise!

When the Lieutenant's Away

Riza walked down the corridor of Eastern command. There was a small smile on her lips as she recalled the nice afternoon she had spend with her best friend Rebecca. The Colonel had insisted that she take a long lunch and at first, she had wondered if he was up to something. Still, she couldn’t refuse the offer when Rebecca was so miserable over her ruined birthday party and especially as it was due to the Colonel calling her and Jean away from the party. Mustang’s name was mud around the headquarters even though it was completely intentional and Riza suspected the lunch was his way of making it up to Rebecca without actually apologising. 

 

Riza was approaching the office when a loud yell from up ahead caused her to freeze. The yell was followed by some loud expletives and a familiar bark.  Hayate!   
Riza picked up her pace as Hayate continued to bark.    
Breda came barrelling out of the office and almost knocked her down. “Get that beast away from me!”  
 When Riza rushed in the door, she spotted three things: Fuery’s hair was singed, the office was filled with smoke and there were papers all over the floor.  
 “What happened when I was gone?” Hayate rushed towards her. She looked down at her dog, “Be quiet, Hayate.”  
 Hayate immediately ceased barking and she turned to the two men in the middle of all the chaos.   
“Hello Lieutenant,” Roy said with a forced smile. “You’re back!”   
Fuery looked even more terrified.   
Roy rubbed at his neck, “Hope you had a nice lunch, Hawkeye.”   
She wasn’t paid to be school teacher, but it felt like it sometimes.  The two idiots were starring at one another while Havoc and Falman tried not to laugh.    
Riza raised an inquiring brow, “Let me rephrase, what the hell happened when I was away?”  
 “You asked me to remind the Colonel to complete the paperwork.” Fuery looked apologetically at the Colonel, “I had to wake him up and I guess I startled him.”  
 “Never try and shake awake a war veteran, kid,” Havoc added.   
The young officer was shaking like a leaf, “I learned my lesson.”  
 “And you?” Riza turned to her superior officer and crossed her arms, “You know better than to fall asleep wearing your gloves.” “I was startled, Lieutenant.”  
 “With respect, you shouldn’t have been falling asleep on your paperwork.”   
She looked around at the papers all over the room and sighed, “I suppose you didn’t get around to finishing that urgent paperwork the Fuhrer asked for before setting it on fire.”   
“Oh shit!” He stood up straight. “Come on men, let’s rescue as much of the paperwork as we can.”  
 He crouched down and began to gather the papers.   
“I never thought I’d hear myself say that,” he muttered in an undertone to Fuery.    
Riza kept her head down trying to hide the smile on her face. She really was surrounded by fools, but they weren’t so bad once you got used to chaos. 

Fin


	6. Morning Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Riza wants is a nice long lie in, but the two men in her life have different ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise.

Morning Kisses

It wasn’t often that Riza slept in, but was a Saturday after a long, hard week and she just wanted a nice long lie in. Unfortunately, the two most important men in in her life had other ideas.  
Something tickled her nose and she could feel something wet and warm on her toes.  
“Stop,” she murmured, rolling over onto her stomach to avoid the source of the tickle. “Roy, just let me go back to sleep, please.”  
Now the tongue at her feet started to work at the heel of her foot.  
She sighed, “Hayate!”  
The dog started to bark and lick more enthusiastically in response. Riza jerked her leg away from Hayate causing the dog to almost fall off the bed. She sat up, her eyes narrowed. She glared at Roy, who was biting at his lip in an attempt to stifle laughter.  
“You can be such an asshole sometimes.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“No you’re not.” She rolled her eyes.  
“I missed you!” He stuck out his lip. “You were asleep when I came home last night. Besides, I brought you something special.” He pulled some mistletoe from behind his back. “You know there’s a tradition about this little beauty.”  
“What’s that?” She raised an eyebrow.  
“Well,” he whispered, “it means you’ve got to kiss me!”  
He leaned in close and she could feel his breath on her skin. Maybe she wasn’t so tired anymore?  
He dangled the mistletoe over her head, “So, Riza Hawkeye, do you think you could do me the honour of kissing me under the mistletoe?”  
“I don’t know,” she teased. She tilted her head, pretending to be considering the idea, “Hmmm - you are handsome, so I think I could bear it.”  
**********

When they finally emerged from the bedroom, Riza boiled some water for some much needed coffee. Roy had his arms wrapped around her waist and his head rested on her shoulder.  
“Do you think that you could get off me long enough to get some mugs?”  
He kissed her cheek and disentangled himself.  
She smiled as she opened the cupboard to grab the coffee. There on the top shelf was another sprig of mistletoe.  
She whirled around, “Is this what you’ve been doing all morning?”   
He had two mugs in his hand, “I told you I was bored and lonely.”   
Shaking her head, she started to laugh, “Sometimes, I just don’t know what goes on in that mind of yours.”  
“That’s probably just as well.” He put the mugs down on the worktop. “So, what are you waiting for? Come on and get me!”  
She looped her arms around his neck, “You don’t need mistletoe to kiss me, you know. I quite like it.”   
“I know.”  
“You didn’t take any into the office, did you? Because that’s the one place-”  
Impatient, he cut her sentence short with a kiss.  
Fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays!


	7. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy Mustang changed Riza Hawkeye's life - some things for the better and some for the worse. Young Royai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise.
> 
> Written for a prompt request on Tumblr. Thanks Wonderlandweird for the excuse to write this.

**Dreams**

_Summer, 1903 _  
Since Roy Mustang had entered the Hawkeye household, nothing would ever be the same again. Not that the boy was untidy or unscrupulous; he was just so full of ideals and dreams that this seemed to rub off on the occupants. Even Bertholdt Hawkeye, who had been little more than a walking corpse since his wife had passed away, could not remain unaffected. Though he continued to be locked away in his study for most of the day, he found time to teach the boy alchemy. Riza, his daughter, had to admit that she was a little jealous that she wasn’t the one who was able to bring him to life.__

  
Riza was sitting at her favourite spot by the river, her back against the tree and a book in her hand. Her eyes would dart ever so often to her companion, who was sprawled out on the grass in front of her. He had a pen in his mouth and he was engrossed in one the alchemy texts that her father had given him. They shouldn’t really be out here alone as this was one of the rules her father set in place when Mr Mustang had come to live with them. The other important rule was that they were to address each other properly. Even though Mr Mustang often slipped, calling her Riza, she adhered strictly to the rule even when they were alone together like now.   
“You’re one of the smartest girls I know, but sometimes you are utterly ridiculous,”  
“Your charm will only get you so far, Mr Mustang.”  
“You can call me Roy you know, I don’t mind.”  
“But I do!”  
“God help the man you marry,” he muttered.  
She punched him hard on the arm, “What did you say?”  
“Sweet nothings, Miss Hawkeye.”  
She could feel the blush blossom on her cheeks and she turned back to her book, ignoring his laugh that caused her tummy to flutter. 

**********

  
Despite her best efforts, Riza found it hard to return her attention to her book. She found herself stealing glances at him as she often did when he practiced his alchemy. Sometimes, he would spend hours perfecting a transmutation, and when he finally managed it to do it his whole face would light up. He also liked the sound of his own voice whereas Riza had always thought there was no point talking unless there was merit to it.  
She peered over her book only to find him gazing at her.  
“I’m going to be a famous alchemist someday, Miss Hawkeye.”  
She smiled at him and shook her head, “You say this like your ambitions are new to me.”   
“I’ll say it until it comes true!”  
She would usually reply with an eye roll and dry comment, someone had to rein in him even if she believed in her heart of hearts that some day he would be exactly where he wanted to be.   
“And I’ll be best sniper in the Amestrian army,” she joked.  
The pair burst into laughter knowing that despite her skill with firearms, Bertholdt Hawkeye’s hatred of the military would ensure it could never happen.  
“Riza,” he began ignoring her pointed look. He paused then, his head tilted as he chewed his lip. “If that is what you want, you should strive to achieve it. All dreams start off the same, no matter how elusive they may seem.”  
“I have no intention of joining the military, Mr Mustang,” she’d replied. “But I appreciate the sentiment all the same.”   
“I know how your father feels about the military, but I think that we have a duty to be the best people that we can be and it would be a chance to help people.”  
He was an idealist fool, but she never questioned his sincerity, his deepest wish to make the world a better and kinder place. They had both suffered hardships that children should not have to endure. Riza had always been practical; she prided herself on it really. She never wanted to be like her starry eyed and dreamy like her peers. Just like the household, Roy Mustang had turned her life upside down and she found herself wanting desperately to believe in his dreams - in him.  
“I have a confession to make, but you have to promise not to tell your father.”  
She put her book down beside her, “I promise.”  
“I’m going to apply to join the military.”  
She starred at the young alchemist, her mouth agape. That would mean that he would be leaving and she might never see him again.   
He put his hand on hers, “I promise I’ll write.”  
She nodded and said, “Just make sure it’s more legible than the scrawls you use when you make notes.”  
“I’ll have you know I have beautiful penmanship.”  
“I’ll believe it when I see it, Mr Mustang.”   
Riza looked up at the sky, the blue was now scattered with grey rain clouds. “We should probably get back before it starts to rain.”   
Little did she know that the letter that would take him away, would arrive two weeks later and that she would eventually follow in his footsteps and join the military.

********

  
_After the fall of Ishbal, 1908_  
So many things had changed, but some were just the same. Riza Hawkeye stood in Roy Mustang’s office and just as she had been as a child, she found herself filled with a hope she had thought had been quenched by her experiences in Ishbal.   
“I want to change this country, to ensure nothing like Ishbal can ever happen again. I want you on my team, Hawkeye. Someday, I’m going to be Fuhrer of this country and when that happens I can prepare tha country for democracy.”  
When the request had come through offering her a move to the Flame Alchemist’s team, she was unsure whether she would accept or decline. She had witnessed firsthand the tragedy his hands had wrought – charred, blackened corpses that visited her at night. There was moment when she had him in her sights and she could have pulled the trigger and ended him. But when she saw him up close, she could see the guilt in his eyes, the disgust at his actions and realised that as a sniper she was not better than him. She was a monster too and just as she had shared the secrets on her back with him, she knew she equally shared the blame for the sins that were committed by flame alchemy. Now he was offering a chance to make amends for their sins, to turn the biggest mistake in their lives into something that could change Amestris for the better.   
“This is without doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”  
His eyes widened like he had expected her to say now. “You know what the country being a democracy would mean?”  
“I do, and I’d gladly pay the price.”  
“Will you follow me?”  
“Into hell if you asked me to.”

  
fin


	8. It Will Not Be Long, Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though it's a party to celebrate Roy Mustang's inauguration, Roy knows there is still more to do before he can rest, before he can hold the woman he loves in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Wonderlandweird on Tumblr for this prompt. It ran away with me I’m afraid and a lot longer and angstier than I had intended when I started. Still, I hope you enjoy this.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise. The lyrics of the song are from an old folk song called She Moves Through The Fair. The Title is also taken from this song.

**It Will Not Be Long, Love**

*********  
In contrast to the public party held following Roy Mustang’s inauguration as Fuhrer, this party was just for the new Fuhrer along with his family and closest friends. These were the men and women that helped him get to the top and those that he trusted implicitly. The former Fuhrer had retired and named Roy as his successor with the agreement of his most trusted Generals. Well nearly all of them, Brigadier General Olivier Armstrong had hoped to get the role herself and there were a few of the Generals that saw fit to back her. One would expect the man to be in a jubilant mood, but only his closest confidantes could recognise his anxiety. After all, this was only the beginning of another challenge, one that could end with a bullet in his head if he finally managed to secure a democracy for Amestris.   
The other party guests were in fine form. Madam Christmas hosted the party in a private room at the of her new bar. She had opened her finest whisky and was sharing it with Grumman and some of her girls. Vanessa, Victoria and Diana were three of her longest serving ladies and were almost like older sisters to Roy. Grumman was in his element with one arm around Diana and the other around Vanessa. Jean Havoc and Rebecca Catalina were chatting with Vato Falman and his pretty wife from Briggs. All four were smiling and laughing. Havoc had finally persuaded Catalina to marry him despite their tumultuous relationship and she was showing off her engagement ring to the other couple. Heymans Breda and Edward Elric were at the buffet table wolfing down the sandwiches while Winry, Al and Mei Elric looked on in disgust. How very typical, the pair had no manners to speak of. Kain Fuery was petting Black Hayate, while Riza Hawkeye was in deep conversation with Gracia Hughes.   
The ache in his chest grew a little with the reminder that his best friend was not here to see this day come and he had begun the journey with Maes Hughes at his side, vowing to push him to the top.   
“You did it, sir.”  
Roy very nearly jumped at the words in his ear. He turned around and smiled at the sight of Riza quirked eyebrow..  
“I played my part,” he admitted with a boyish smirk. “As did you all.”  
“It’s not like you to be so humble,” she teased.  
“And will you continue to be so insubordinate now that I am your Fuhrer?”  
“Of course, someone has to keep you in check and make sure you complete all your paperwork. No doubt there will be even more involved as the head of Amestris.”  
“Do you not mention that evil word.” He gave her a mock glare and wagged his finger. “This is supposed to be a celebration.”  
“You should take care to remember that yourself, sir.” Her words were quiet and she squeezed his arm. “Are you alright, Roy?”  
The use of his name immediately illustrated her concern. It was rare for her to ever use his given name in public. He averted his gaze. She could always see right through him. She removed her hand almost immediately and he felt its loss.   
“It’s too early to celebrate, there’s so much more to do,” he said.   
Riza’s eyes softened, “I know.”  
There was too much blood on his hands and there were people who should have been here who had lost their lives in his pursuit of goals. What he would give to have Hughes here now.  
“Hughes would be so proud of you.”  
Damn her for seeing through him so thoroughly.  
Determined, he changed the subject, “You could retire from the military now.”  
“Are you joking?”  
There was the familiar tic in her jaw and the narrowing of her eyes.  
“It’s true, this is what you signed up for. We made it to the top. No one would fault you now for taking a step back.”  
“I said I’d follow you into hell and I’m going to keep following you until this country is a democracy.”  
He knew her well enough now to see she would not be swayed even if it meant she would be free, free to pursue the kind of life that she should have. The closer she was to him, the more likely it was she would take a bullet alongside him. The last thing he wanted was for her to be hurt again on his account and yet he always let her.   
“Why do you follow me? I’m nothing special and still you refuse to abandon me. You saw what these hands could do in Ishbal.”  
Her eyes widened a little before she recovered.  
“And I gave you the key to my father’s research,” she hissed. “I’m just as culpable.”   
“You didn’t know what you were doing.”  
“I can’t talk to you like this.” She glared at the glass of amber liquid in his hand. “You’ve obviously been drinking too much.”  
Riza could always make him feel like a right bastard, especially because most of the time she was right. He regretted his harsh words, but the truth was she was what he prized above all else and despite his goals a selfish part of him wanted to just live like a normal man, make love to the woman he loved every night and forget about punishing himself for his sins. But he would never be clean. Never. He didn’t deserve that life.   
He turned to look at her and apologise, but she had turned her back on him and was conversing with Winry. He hated it when they fought; it turned his world on its axis.  
“I’m not drunk,” he said loud enough for Riza to hear, but he put down the glass.   
He sat in silence for a few moments before Madam Christmas bore down on him.  
“Chin up Roy-boy,” she said. “It’s supposed to be your party and your face would turn milk sour.”  
She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. Her look told him straight that was being an ass, this was everyone’s victory and they needed to celebrate. He sat up straighter and managed to catch Riza’s eye and gave her an apologetic glance. She smiled back, but her smile was tense.   
Pull yourself together, Roy.  
His aunt clapped him on the back, “Now, Roy, how about a tune on the piano?”   
“I don’t think so,” he replied.  
Vanessa and Diana appeared from behind his aunt. “Don’t be shy, Roy boy, it doesn’t suit you.”  
He glared at Vanessa, who stared defiantly back at him. This was definitely one of his aunt’s schemes to try and distract him from his black mood. He tried to remain angry, but he knew their hearts were in the right place. Riza was struggling to maintain her composure beside him, her lips curving into the smallest of smiles.  
“Yeah, come on Roy,” Diana added. “You used to play and sing at all the parties in the old days.”  
Roy couldn’t resist sneaking another glance at Riza. Her smile was more pronounced now.   
“I didn’t know you could sing,” she said.  
The curious tilt of her head caused a swooping feeling his stomach. He wished she smiled like that more often.  
“I wouldn’t call it singing,” he whispered.  
“Quit whispering sweet nothings,” Diana said. She pushed him in the direction of the grand piano in the corner. “Get your ass onto the piano stool!”  
Roy didn’t miss the conspiratorial smile Edward shared with Breda. Together the pair started to chant “Mustang” and other guests started to join in.  
He could feel the heat in his face, “I am going to kill them for this.”  
“Go on.” Riza nudged him with her elbow. ”They won’t let up until you do.”  
Roy shook his head as he headed for the piano and sat on the stool. All eyes were on him and he sighed. “Just one song.”  
Vanessa and Madam Christmas followed him to the piano.  
“How about She Moves Through The Fair?”  
His aunt smiled sadly at him recognising the significance of the song for him and turned to the younger woman. “Nonsense, Vanessa, something a bit more upbeat might be appropriate.”  
“It’s fine,” he assured them.   
He frowned as he lifted the cover up and tried to recall the beginning of the melody.   
“This song was taught to me by my mother before she passed.”  
Roy opened and closed his fingers to stretch them. There was an excited murmur in the room; he didn’t play the piano very often in front of his friends and had never sung. Feeling a tightness in his chest, he took a deep breath and began playing a soft and mournful melody. His voice wasn’t the best, but he could hold a tune.   
“My young love said to me,  
My mother won’t mind  
And my father won’t slight you  
For your lack of kind"  
The room was in complete silence and Roy allowed himself to get lost in the music and the memory of the past. He could almost smell his mother’s perfume and feel her beside him.  
“And she stepped away from me  
And this she did say:  
It will not be long, love,  
Till our wedding day"  
He could feel moisture gather in the corner of his eyes, so he closed them and concentrated on the music.  
“As she stepped away from me  
And she moved through the fair  
And fondly I watched her  
Move here and move there  
And then she turned homeward  
With one star awake  
Like the swan in the evening  
Moves over the lake”  
His fingers caressed the keys as they moved. He had forgotten how much he enjoyed playing the piano. He had one in his apartment, but it was rare that he would use it.  
“The people were saying,   
No two e'er were wed  
But one had a sorrow  
That never was said  
And I smiled as she passed  
With her goods and her gear,  
And that was the last  
That I saw of my dear.”  
He almost choked on the last line, the emotion in his voice no doubt audible.  
“Last night she came to me,  
My dead love came in  
So softly she came  
That her feet made no din  
As she laid her hand on me  
And this she did say  
It will not be long, love,  
‘Til our wedding day.”  
His aunt squeezed his shoulder and the crowd applauded.  
“That was great, Boss,” Jean said, “But that was a bit of a downer.”  
“You can thank Vanessa for that!”   
The aforementioned Vanessa was rubbed away tears, “I just love that song, Roy. It never fails to make me cry.”  
Roy was about to vacate his stool, when Riza pulled up another stool and sat beside him.  
“Remember when you taught me to play?” she asked.  
Roy nodded, “Chopsticks and Edelweiss!”  
“If you have notes there somewhere for seconds, I think I’d like to play again with you.”  
“Really?”   
Without waiting for a response he eagerly thumbed through the sheet music on the piano to find something they could play together. Sitting there, elbow to elbow, hip to hip made him warmer than any of the alcohol he had consumed..  
The world had righted itself again.

Fin


	9. The Cost of Our Sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's some blood that you can never wash away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings in play here - mentions of suicide (please don’t read if that is a trigger for you). I don't want to upset anyone.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing except he plot!
> 
> This was written after a prompt ask on Tumblr from onehundredpercenthouses.

**The Cost of our Sins**

Riza walked into the outer office and was surprised to see the light was still on in the Colonel’s office. She had thought that Roy would leave the office shortly after she had. She grabbed her purse which she had left on her desk and was the reason for her return. Perhaps, he had fallen asleep at the desk; it wouldn’t be the first time. She suspected from the dark circles around his eyes that he hadn’t been sleeping properly recently.   
She smiled fondly, pressed down the door handle and peered inside. “Hello again, sir. Surprised to still see you here.”   
Her eyes widened; there was an almost empty bottle of scotch on the table and more worryingly he had a gun on the table in front of him.   
“What are you-”  
Her voice trailed off when Roy looked up to meet her gaze. “You shouldn’t be here.” His eyes held none of his usual warmth.   
“You shouldn’t be here either.” Riza stepped into the office slowly.  
“No – but we have a lot to do, and I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway if I went home. I thought I might make myself useful.”  
He covered the gun with a file and she relaxed a little.  
“And were you..useful?” She watched him carefully as she walked across the room.  
He sighed. “I looked at all these pictures and it was like I was back there again.”  
“But you’re not in Ishbal, sir, you’re here making a difference.”  
“Try telling that to them!” He pointed to his head.  
She came to a stop at the desk. “To who?”  
“The voices of those I maimed, killed..murdered.” He put his head in his hands. “Nothing we ever do is going to make up for our sins. We’re just deluding ourselves so that we can sleep at night.”   
The explosion case they were investigating was causing her to relive some of the her worst memories; she couldn’t imagine how it could be affecting the Colonel. He put on a good show the last few days if his present demeanour was anything to go by. She was within reach of the gun, but he was closer. _Should I reach for it? No – that could cause him to do something rash._  
“You’re not the only one who feels guilt,” she said. “How do you think I feel every time I pull the trigger? Not to mention I was the one to give you my father’s research.”  
He winced and leaned back into his chair. “I remember your face when you first saw me there, my true self revealed. I could see the hatred in your eyes.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Why did you agree to follow me?”  
“I was angry at first, of course I was, but I was more angry at myself. I could never hate you, Roy, even then.”  
His name felt alien on her lips. She had addressed him by sir or his rank for so long now.  
He looked up at her. “Riza, ever wonder if the world would be better off without you… ?””   
She nodded. She wouldn’t lie to him, not even then.  
“I should have been better, been stronger. I should never have used my alchemy for such terrible things. I should have let them kill me rather than obey such senseless orders. The world would be better without a Flame Alchemist!”  
Dread caused her stomach to flip. “No. Don’t say that. Never say that!”  
“It’s true,” he said and shook his head. “Your father had the right of it when he refused to give me his research. I hurt you, I let you down. You never should have put your trust in me.”  
She took a step forward. “Roy, you’re drunk. You don’t mean what you’re saying.”  
“Ha – not nearly drunk enough.” He chuckled darkly and poured another glass. “Just go home, Lieutenant.”  
She made no move to leave.   
“That’s an order!”  
She crossed her arms. “No! I am not leaving.”   
“Please, I don’t want you to see me like this.” He shut his eyes as if he was in physical pain. When he opened them again, he let out a deep sigh. “I’ve no right to give up - give in to the darkness - not when I swore I’d change Amestris.”   
“I know what you feel, but as long as there is something more we can do we have to keep trying.”  
“I’ve tried it before you know… Hughes stopped me.” Before she could act, he reached for the gun and ran his fingers over it. “Funny things, guns. So much power in cold metal.”  
“Put down the gun, please.” She was fighting not to lunge for the gun, afraid that the sudden movement could make things even worse.  
“I even put the barrel in my mouth, but I just couldn’t pull the trigger.”  
Riza held her breath, her whole body taut.  
He looked over at her and his eyes softened.  
“Take it,” he said.  
He pressed the gun into her hand. “I’m sorry. Sometimes, I forget how to live, but you.. You make me want to live.”  
Riza glared at him, pushing down the urge to shake some sense into him. “Shut up! You were going to kill yourself before I came in here!”  
He looked down at the table. “I don’t think I would have.”  
Fingers trembling, she removed the bullets from the gun and stuffed them into the pocket of her coat.   
Voice icy with anger, she said, “That doesn’t fill me with a lot of confidence. I want you to live. It’s not just Amestris that needs you.” She dropped the gun on the table with a clang. “You’re a fool, Roy Mustang, a fool.”  
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I’m so sorry.”  
Tears were rolling down his face and he sounded like the boy he once was. Her anger evaporated and she went around the desk. She squeezed his shoulder and he leaned into her touch.   
“Can you stay at the bar tonight?” she asked gently. “I don’t think you should be alone in your apartment.”  
He nodded dumbly. Her heart broke seeing this strong man in such a mess. Damn impropriety! She got to her knees and wrapped her arms around him. He tensed under her touch for a moment before he pulled her to him. He held her tight and buried his face in her shoulder.  
“You can tell me anything, you know,” she said. “I’ve seen the worst of you, but I’ve also seen the best of you. You’re a good man. I wish you could see what I do.”  
  
It wasn’t until she was lying in her bed later that night that she realised what he had said to her. _Sometimes, I forget how to live, but you… You make me want to live._ She put her face into her pillow and let the tears fall. _You idiot! Do you really think I could live without you?_

**The End**


	10. Lost but not alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Summary: Roy gets a disturbing phone call from Hughes. HIs life may have been turned upside down, but he had Riza at his side._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For financialstability on tumblr! I was hoping it would be done for Valentine’s Day, but is is just as well as this is angst and a half. :) 
> 
> **Prompt: It’s okay to cry…**

**Lost but not alone**

The phone rang three times before a frazzled Roy Mustang reached it. The move to Central was going to be soon, and there was so much paperwork to get through. He wished he could set fire to the lot of it. He sighed, crossed his arms on the table in front of him and lay his head face down. The phone rang and he waited hopefully for Riza to answer it. 

On the third ring, he picked it up. “Colonel Mustang here.”

“There’s a Lieutenant Colonel Hughes on hold for you,” the voice on the other end said. “He says it’s urgent.”

“Of course, he does. Put him through.”

Roy suspected the usual time wasting antics. His best friend was inclined to ring him about the littlest achievement or to harangue him about finding a wife and starting a family. _The infuriating man._

Roy heard a click as the dispatcher put the call through.

Before the man could get a word in edge ways, Roy said, “Look Hughes, I don’t have time for daughter stories.”

Roy knew there was something wrong when there was no response.

He frowned. “Hey Hughes!”

There was no reply on the other end, but Roy strained his ears and could hear a rasping sound and footsteps. A chill went down his spine. Something wasn’t right.

“Hughes? You okay, Hughes?”

He had an ominous feeling, deep down in his gut. He just knew that something terrible had happened.

“HUGHES!”

Suddenly, the line went dead.

Riza walked in the door, her eyes concerned having heard his shout. She rushed to his side and pried the receiver from his hand. ‘What is it?” she asked. When he didn’t answer, she persisted. “Sir? Roy?”

The words finally cut through the fugue in his brain.

“Hughes called.” He swallowed nervously. “He told the dispatcher it was urgent.” He let out a hollow laugh, “I thought it was his usual prattle, wouldn’t be the first time after all. But when I took the call, there was no answer. The line didn’t go dead right away, Lieutenant. I could hear noise, before there a click. I think someone put the phone back on the hook. And it wasn’t Hughes.”

Riza’s face went pale, but she spoke briskly. “Let’s speak to the dispatcher and then ring Central, and see if they have seen him.”

Riza - ever practical and cool in a crisis - connected with the dispatcher. 

“You transferred a call from Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes to Colonel Mustang a few moments ago, but he was no longer on the line when the Colonel Mustang took the call. Did Hughes give you any indication of where he was calling from?”

Riza paused listening intently.

“Are you sure? Is there anything you can tell us? We are very concerned for his welfare.”

Riza sighed and met Roy’s questioning eyes and shook her head. 

“Fuck.’ Roy sat back in his chair, his head in his hands.

“Someone’s got to know something.”

“Put me through to the Investigations office in Central, Hughes’ office right away,” Riza ordered.

Please let there be some rational explanation for this. There had to be!

“Hello, is Lieutenant Colonel Hughes there?” he heard Riza say. Riza’s eyes widened; Roy felt sick. He stood up stiffly, trying to ignore the nauseated feeling in his belly.

“Let us know as soon as you hear anything. Colonel Mustang received a phone call from the Lieutenant Colonel, and he is concerned for his welfare.”

Roy paced back and forth behind his desk.

“Much appreciated. Thank you!”

Riza replaced the receiver and walked over to Roy, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Sit – you’ll wear a hole in the carpet.” He let her lead him in the direction of his chair.

Once Roy was sitting again, she continued, “I was told by the Lieutenant Colonel’s secretary that there was incident in the Investigations department. When Hughes left the building, he was injured and he hasn’t been seen since.”

Roy slammed his fist down on the table. “Why didn’t I pick up the phone faster? He must have been calling for help. Dammit!”

“We don’t know what has happened yet. She promised she would ensure we would be the first to know if there was any news.“

Riza didn’t lie to him, and for that he was grateful. He stared at the phone nervously willing I it to ring. Riza picked up the pile of papers he had finished earlier that morning.

“I have plenty more where that came from,” she said.

Roy knew she was trying to distract him and he took a deep breath and decided to humour her.

“You are a slave driver, Lieutenant.” He plastered a smile on his face.

She was right; they knew nothing for definite yet.

*************

Several fraught minutes later spent staring unseeingly at paperwork Riza seemed to conjure out of thin air, the phone rang again. Roy answered the phone before his subordinate could reach it.

“Colonel Mustang here,” he barked.

He saw a shadow pass over his table. He looked over his shoulder at Riza and she put her hand on the back of his chair.

“This is Lieutenant Andersen from the Investigations department, sir.” 

“Tell me… did you find Hughes?”

“I’m sorry Colonel Mustang. We found Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, but it was too late.”

Roy almost dropped the receiver. “No – that can’t be true.”

“I’m sorry, sir, he was highly esteemed as an officer and a man in our department.”

 _Fuck!_ Roy closed his eyes. “What happened? I need to know.”

“It looks like he was skewered with something sharp. We believe he died from severe blood loss.”

Every word was a blow to the gut; how could Andersen speak so dispassionately?

Andersen continued, “The wound was mortal, and he would have bled out very fast.”

He could feel the blood rushing in his veins and a terrible numbness filled him.

“I’ll be taking the next train, I want to be involved in the investigation.”

“But sir, I assure you that won’t be necessary,” said the Lieutenant Colonel.

“You’ve found his killer already, then?” Roy snapped.

There was only silence on the other end.

“I’ll be asking to speak to you when I get there.” Roy slammed down the phone. _Odious man!_

For once, Riza didn’t berate him for being careless with military property.

“Can you organise a ticket to Central for me, Lieutenant?” he asked.

“Two tickets, sir. I’ll be coming with you.” She smiled reassuringly, but he could see the sorrow in her eyes.

“Thank you, Lieutenant. I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

************

The following afternoon the Colonel and the First Lieutenant were aboard the express train to Central. The train ride so far was silent and sombre. Riza had secured a private carriage to ensure that they would not disturbed. She was concerned at Roy’s silence. Other than sudden bursts of anger, he showed little outward signs of grieving for his best friend. He was bottling his emotions up, the anguish buried deep inside him. But it couldn’t last. The point would come when he couldn’t hold it inside any longer and she wanted to be there when that happened. She could see that beneath the calm exterior was raw grief and an all consuming rage. She knew how singleminded he could be, and he likely wouldn’t rest until he had found Hughes’ killer. She sympathised with him, she really did, but they needed to be smart. Sometimes, being close to the victim could make you blind, make you rash or even get you killed. The very idea was a knife to the heart.

She watched Roy from behind her newspaper. He was looking out the window; she could only make out his profile.

“Are you hungry, sir?”

“No – I’m fine,” he said. He rubbed at his eyes. “Look, I’m too tired to play soldiers. Do you think we could leave the formalities behind until we get there. I could really use a friend rather than a subordinate right now.”

She nodded. “In that case, you really should eat, Roy.”

He tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. “You are always ordering me around. One would think that I am the subordinate and you are the commanding officer.”

“You said to dispense with the formalities.” She pushed a brown paper bag with sandwiches towards him.

He took the bag with a sigh and raised an eyebrow. “Like that ever stopped you.”

He took the sandwich out and unwrapped it before taking a bite. He chewed slowly as if he was trying to force it down. Satisfied he was at least attempting to eat, Riza turned back to her newspaper.

After a few moments of silence, Roy spoke. “Do you believe in a God, Riza?” She looked up from again from her newspaper and he continued. “Or do you believe in science?”

He starred at her as if he was trying to see what was in her head. “I believe in science; I’ve always believed in what I can see, what I can prove, but right now I want to believe in a higher power. Some rhyme or reason Instead of senseless death. What a hypocrite, huh?”

She shook her head, “It’s understandable to feel that way.”

He slammed his fist on the hand rest. It physically hurt to see him in such emotional pain. She so desperately wanted to make it right, but there was nothing she could do.

“Roy, it’s okay to cry..” she said gently putting her right hand over his left. “You don’t have to be strong in front of me. Let me be there for you like you were there for me once.”

“I know.” He shook his head. “But this is not the time nor is it the place. I can grieve when we’ve found the bastard that did this.”

She could feel his hand trembling beneath hers, but he didn’t pull it away.

***************

Hughes’ funeral was emotional and Riza kept as close as she could to Roy while staying a step behind him as protocol dictated. He looked over his shoulder at her several times as if he was reassuring himself that she was there.

Roy had been tetchy and irritable all morning, and Riza had reminded him to eat again. The pair had spent a sleepless night sharing stories about Hughes over a bottle of whiskey, but he was still. Roy’s façade was starting to crumble and she wished that she could stand beside him giving him the comfort that he really needed when his friend was being lowered into the ground.

Once the service was over, Roy had walked over to give his condolences to Hughes’ widow not having a chance to do so before the ceremony began. Gracia hugged Roy tightly and he returned the embrace, but Riza noticed that he avoided looking the woman in the eye. 

“Let me know if you need anything,” he told Gracia as he let go.

She nodded and turned to her little girl with red rimmed eyes. “Come on Elicia, let’s go home.”

Roy and Riza watched her leave with heavy hearts.

“Hughes was right you know,” Roy said. “Gracia really is something else.”

Riza looked around the graveyard; the other mourners had started to disperse and there were only a few stragglers left.

“Shall we go, sir?” Riza asked.

“No – I need..” His voice trailed off and his eyes returned to the mound of fresh earth on the grave.

She nodded her understanding. Roy walked slowly towards the grave and Riza watched from a few metres away allowing him some privacy. He held himself like a soldier, his back ramrod straight and his hands by his side. Still, she could see the slight tremor in his frame. She stepped forward, but stopped when she heard him addressing his dead friend.

“Promoted to Brigadier General just for dying in the line of duty. You were supposed to be helping me work my way up through the ranks. You got it all backwards you damn fool.”

Unable to hold back any longer, she came closer. “Colonel?”

“Alchemists as a whole, we are really horrible creatures, aren’t we?” He didn’t look at her, his gaze still firmly fixed on the gravestone. “There’s a part of me that’s desperately trying to crack the theory of human transmutation. Now, I think I understand what drove those boys when they tried to bring back their mother.”

It was a disturbing thought indeed.

“Are you all right, Colonel?” She knew it was a stupid question, but she didn’t know what else to say. She felt useless, like she had when her father grieved for her mother.

“Yeah – I’m fine.” He put on his hat. “Except it’s a terrible day for rain.”

“What do you mean?” She scanned the sky and then turned back to him. “It’s not raining.”

Tears were running down his face. “Yes – it is.”

“Oh, so it is,” she said gently. “Why don’t we head back, it’s getting chilly out here.”

She moved closer to him, almost touching but not quite. She wasn’t going to let Roy push her away like her father had. Whether he liked it or not, she would give him what he needed. After all, they had already been to hell together.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

She watched with a mixture of relief and compassion as he let more tears fall. She wished she could reach out and touch him, but boundaries that they had erected long ago were in place. Soldiers above everything, commanding officer and subordinate.

“Lieutenant,” he said.

She turned to him. “Yes, sir.”

“Don’t die.” He wiped at his eyes. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you too.”

**the end**

Whoops!! I love you really Hughes.


	11. Rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: A hungover Roy’s woken up on the morning of his wedding to Riza. Edward’s more than willing to offer advice.
> 
> Only warnings I offer are fluff and angst!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise, but I do own this little ficlet.
> 
> Rating: Teen for language
> 
> Riza does not appear but is mentioned, so I still classify this as Royai.
> 
> This was a prompt ask for runningalchemist on Tumblr.

**Rainbows ******

A persistent knocking sound on the door finally roused Roy Mustang from his deep slumber. A ray of sunlight was shining into the room through a gap in the curtain. He shut his eyes again, sensitive to the light. He rolled over and pulled the pillow over his head. Maybe whoever was knocking would go away if he ignored them for long enough.  
“Mustang! Get up you lazy bastard.”  
Roy groaned.  
“Go away Fullmetal!” His voice was muffled from under the pillow.  
“Come on Mustang.” Edward rapped on the door again. “Hawkeye sent me to make sure you weren’t comatose.”  
Riza! She knows me so well.  
“Alright, I’m coming!”  
_It’s finally happening today; I’m marrying Riza._  
The wave of sudden giddiness was enough was enough to dismiss all further thoughts of sleep. He threw the pillow aside and eased himself out of the bed. A wave of dizziness hit him and his stomach heaved at the sudden movement; he braced himself against the mattress. Damn hangover.  
Edward knocked on the door again. “What the hell is taking so long? I keep getting suspicious looks from people passing by.  
“I said I was coming!”  
Irritated at Edward and angry at his own stupidity for getting so inebriated, he stumbled slowly to the door and opened it.  
Edward looked him up and down. “You look like hell, Mustang. Hawkeye is not going to be impressed.”  
“I don’t need your lectures.” Roy glared at the man, who was now regrettably almost the same height as him.  
“I am going to enjoy looking down on you, Mustang,” Edward said with a smirk. “You spent enough years doing the same to me.”  
Roy attempted to shut the door in Edward’s face, but the younger man was too quick and stuck his automail foot in the way. “Hey, what way is that to treat the person who brought you breakfast?”  
Roy looked down and noticed the mug of black coffee and the plate of toast. He could feel his food rising up in the back of his throat and he abandoned his futile battle with Edward’s automail foot. As he darted to the bathroom, Roy heard Edward’s quiet laughter followed by the sound of the hotel room door slamming shut.  
Roy thankfully made it to the toilet bowl before he vomited the contents of his stomach, which was not much since he had much more alcohol than food the night before. He gave one last dry heave before finally he got a reprieve.  
He rested his head against the cold porcelain of the cistern. I’m never drinking again.  
“You alive, Mustang?”  
When Roy didn’t reply, Edward followed him into the bathroom. Roy thought he glimpsed some sympathy in his golden eyes as he filled a glass full of tap water.  
He held out the glass. “Drink up!”  
“Thanks!” Roy took it gratefully and gulped it down. How humiliating it was for Edward to see him like this?  
Grimacing, he put the glass back on the sink. “Why did it have to be you?”  
“Because I was most sober of the lot of you last night.”  
“Don’t remind me.”  
Edward smirked. “It’s not my fault that I’m a lot younger too and can hold my drink better.”  
Roy glared up at the insolent brat, because he would always be that same kid to him no matter how old or tall he was.  
“You’re lucky I don’t have my ignition gloves right now.”  
“Sorry Mustang, but you aren’t the least bit intimidating right now.”  
Edward laughed and held out his hand to Roy, who took it reluctantly, to pull him to his feet.  
The cup of coffee and plate of toast that Edward had brought were placed on the dresser beside the bed. Roy took the cup of coffee as he sat on the edge of the bed.  
Perhaps it will make me feel more human?  
Edward didn’t sit, leaning back against the wall instead.  
Probably just to mess with my head, Roy mused darkly.  
“You should probably eat the toast too.”  
“I don’t need an nursemaid,” Roy said grumpily.  
“Good, as I don’t intend on indulging you. I’m just looking after my own ass.” Edward smirked. “When you’re married as long as I am, you learn to pick your battles.”  
Roy rolled his eyes. “I didn’t ask you for your sage advice, Fullmetal.”  
“Will you quit calling me that!”  
Roy felt a small smile tugging at his lips. He could always count on riling Edward Elric as one of his simple pleasures in life. He tore off a piece of toast and chewed it. He swallowed more coffee to force it down. As much as he hated to admit it, Fullmetal had a point. Of course, if things were different there would be another man here right now and Roy might still be hungover, but he would have gotten drunk for very different reasons. He swallowed a lump in his throat.  
Roy desperately wished Hughes was here to celebrate his wedding day; his best friend always knew the right thing to say. It was almost as if Hughes knew his mind better than he did himself; it was a gift he shared with Riza. Roy often wondered he ever did to deserve the two of them.  
“I’m sorry Mr Hughes isn’t here.”  
Roy frowned at Edward’s words wondering for a moment if he had been thinking aloud. The confusion disappeared when he noticed the picture of Hughes on the dresser beside him. He must have left it there the previous night. He had a vague memory of a drunken conversation with the photo.  
I think you knew before I ever did that Riza and I loved one another.  
“He would have loved to see you get married,” Edward said.  
“He always told me I needed to find a wife,” Roy admitted with a small smile.  
“Do you think he would been surprised that you got Hawkeye to put up with you?”  
Roy chuckled. “Not in the slightest. Riza and I had to put up with both Hughes and Gracia trying to matchmake us for years.”  
“We all thought you two would never get your act together,” Edward said.  
“Well, we did eventually. There were so many things getting in the way back then..”

  
Roy examined this reflection in the mirror. Despite the redness around the eyes, the telltale signs of a hangover were not so obvious. He was dressed in an expensive grey suit, having decided to forgo the military pomp. Just close friends and family would be in attendance.  
Roy had been looking forward to this day for a long time, but for some reason he was paralysed by fear now. His palms were sweaty, and his heart raced, beating hard against his chest. His hangover wasn’t helping much either. His mouth was dry, and his head was throbbing.  
“I don’t deserve her,” he said to his reflection.  
“Maybe not.”  
Roy whirled around. He was so lost in thought he had not noticed Edward returning.  
“Hawkeye chose you for some reason. She sees something in you that you don’t. You have no right to make that decision for her.” Edward shrugged and continued, “I still don’t know why Winry puts up with me. All you can do is work at becoming the man she deserves.”  
“That sounds easier said than done.”  
“It is.” Edward smacked him had on the back. “Come on or we’ll be late and Hawkeye will shoot both our asses.”  
“It’s raining.”  
“Don’t be an idiot. It’s just rain, you’re not gonna melt.”  
“What if it’s a sign?” Roy’s lips twitched.  
Edward made a scoffing noise. “Don’t make me kick your ass.”  
_I love her; she loves me. _Roy pulled himself up straight. But what if I fuck it all up? He shook his head. _No - I won’t mess this up, I can’t._  
Roy looked out the window again. He spotted a rainbow in the distance and he remembered how Hughes had told him once that the rainbow symbolises that even in the rain the sun would come out again. Hope. Maybe the rain was a sign after all and Hughes was up there somewhere crying tears of joy?__

Fin

I hope you liked this!


	12. When Mom Is Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riza's going out of town leaving her two boys alone. What sort of mischief will Roy and Hayate get up to? And more importantly who is looking after who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much to runningalchemist on Tumblr for this prompt. It was such a blast!!!
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

  
When Mom is away

“You take care of him.” Riza rubbed Black Hayate’s ears.  
Roy rocked on his heels, waiting for her to finish lavishing attention on the dog.   
“No need to worry, Hayate and I will be fine,” he assured her. “I’ll look after him.”  
“I was talking to Hayate.” Riza looked up, her lips twitching.  
Roy rolled his eyes.  
She turned back to Hayate. “I know he’s an idiot, boy, but make sure he doesn’t stay up all night in his books.”  
Roy suppressed a chuckle. Riza knew him all too well. He had planned on getting some alchemy research done over the weekend. He needed something to while away the evenings. Roy hated it when Riza was out of town; their home always felt lonely without her.  
Riza gave Hayate one last pat on the head. The moment she straightened up, Roy rushed to her and put his hands on her waist. Her mouth parted open in surprise and he leaned in and kissed her. The kiss started soft and sweet, but quickly turned urgent and demanding. Riza wrapped her arms around him, her hands on his shoulder blades pulling him closer to her. His fingers skirted under the hem of her blouse, his fingertips sliding across her back.  
When they finally pulled away for air, both were smiling like teenagers after having their first kiss.  
“What was that for?” Riza’s face was flushed.  
“To remind you what you’ll be missing.”  
She tugged lightly at his hair at the nape of his neck. “As if I could forget.”  
“I wish you didn’t have to go,” he said. “I’ll miss you.”  
“I’ll miss you too,” she whispered and rested her head against his chest. “I would prefer if you were going with me.”  
“You were the one who reminded me there was far too much work in the office for me to leave too.”  
Damn Grumman - he was an even worse slavedriver than Bradley. He almost (but not quite) wished for Bradley to be Fuhrer again. Eastern headquarters had never been busier and as the most senior General in Eastern, Roy was lucky to get one day off at the weekend let alone time to go on vacation.  
“Yes - I know,” she said with a sigh. “But… I have to go and meet the newest member of the Havoc family or Rebecca will never speak to me again.”  
“Pass on my regards,” Roy said. “You know, I still can’t believe that Havoc got her to marry him.”  
“Maybe we can take a vacation together when things calm down later in the year?”  
“I’ll keep you to that.”

  
Later that night, Roy had not quite abandoned his alchemy research even though it past midnight. He sat on the bed propped up on pillows with Black Hayate lying on his feet.  
It had become a habit to let Hayate would sleep on the bed when Riza was away even though he knew that his wife didn’t like it. He would just make sure to put them in the laundry before she returned. He found it easier to concentrate in here rather than the study for some reason. Perhaps it was because of the smell of Riza’s perfume still lingering in the air? He never thought he would be such a sap, but he found he was increasingly acting like Hughes - a sentimental fool. Still, he prided himself on hiding it better.   
He put down the book on the bed beside him. There was a piping hot cup of coffee and a half eaten ham sandwich on the dresser. His stomach rumbled reminding him that he didn’t have a proper dinner. He picked up the mug and reached for the sandwich. In his haste, he managed to spill hot coffee all over his shirt. He winced and he put down the sandwich on the bed. He pulled the shirt off and tossed it in the laundry basket only to find the dog had scoffed the remains of his sandwich.  
He waggled his finger at Hayate. “I’ll just tell your Mom on you!”  
The dog tilted his head as if to say who are you kidding. Roy sighed knowing there was nothing about this whole situation that would make Riza feel sorry for him.  
“Yeah - I know, boy.” He sat down on the bed, which thankfully had been spared from the coffee. He patted his lap and Hayate jumped up licking him on the face. “Let’s make a deal. You keep my secret and I’ll keep yours.”  
Hayate barked.  
“Let’s shake on it.” Roy held out his hand and Hayate placed his paw on Roy’s palm. “Good dog!”  
Dogs of the military had to stick together after all.

Fin


	13. Logic or Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first anniversary of Hughes' death hits Roy hard. Beware angst and fluffly Royai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for a prompt request for xennariel on Tumblr.

**Logic or Feeling?**

  
Roy opened the door of his apartment, grateful to finally be home after a long day in the office. He sighed deeply and ran his fingers through his hair. He crossed the threshold and slammed the door behind him. As he took off his jacket, his nose was assaulted by the smell of stale, dry sweat. The office had been hot and stifling due the time of year. The fact that it was the first anniversary of Hughes’ death made him miserable enough. The sweltering office made him unbearable, snapping at everyone. Even the Lieutenant had kept her distance, although he had caught her gazing at him with concern in her amber eyes. He made a note to apologise in the morning. No one had mentioned the date or uttered Hughes’ name today, and to be honest he was glad. Instead of his usual procrastination, he had buried himself in paperwork that would usually have taken two days to complete.  
Roy sat down on his sofa, his eyes drawn to a picture on the mantlepiece. The picture was a birthday gift from Gracia. The picture was from Hughes’ wedding day when Roy had been best man. They were both a little drunk and were leaning on one other for support.  
“What I would have done today to see you pop into the office with your infinite stock of photographs.”  
Talking to Hughes was a habit he had he adopted in the wake of his best friend’s death. Normally, he reserved it for Hughes’ grave or an occasional bender, but the first anniversary of his death would do.  
“Don’t worry, Hughes! Before you say anything, I’ve no plans to try human transfiguration. Seeing those Homunculi and the gate would have made up my mind if I had ever been tempted.” He smiled sadly. “And the Lieutenant’s bullet of course.”  
Every time he grieved for Hughes, he was reminded of how close he was to losing Riza on the Promised Day. He could have lost them both if it wasn’t for the little Xingese princess. And if that happened, he didn’t know what he would have done. 

He was about to head for a shower when there was a knock on the door. Frowning Roy went to the door and peered out the peep hole. The Lieutenant was standing there.   
I should have known.  
He opened the door. “Lieutenant, what are you doing here?”  
“You forgot this at the office.” She held out a bottle of whiskey.  
Roy raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t contradict her.   
Black Hayate emerged from behind her with a yap. Roy bent down and rubbed the pup’s head.  
Roy straightened up and took the bottle from Riza. “You remembered what day it was!” He stepped back and gestured her inside. “It was Hughes’ favourite drink.” She stepped into the hall followed by the sniffing dog. “I can’t stay long. I’ve an appointment with the Fuhrer in two hours.”  
“Thank you for coming.” Roy asked. “Can I take your coat?”  
She shrugged out of her coat. “I thought you might like some company, sir.”  
“I’m not sure why,” he said. Roy took the coat and hung it on a peg by the door. “I was an absolute bastard at work today. I’m sorry.”  
“May I speak freely, sir?”  
“Of course!”  
“We’re used to your temper,” she said, the spark in her eyes belying the blank expression on her features.  
He starred at her, drinking in her beauty. He was so lucky to have this amazing woman in his life even if he could not love her the way he desperately wanted to.  
“Everything alright, sir?”  
Somehow the formalities they had embraced seemed like blades in his heart. He just wanted to be Roy to her again, to call her Riza without fear of the repercussions. Still, they come too far to let such things get in the way especially given all their sins.  
“You know you’re always welcome to speak freely to me,” he said, his voice hoarse.  
She took a step backward, whether it was intentional or just subconscious he didn’t know.  
“I find it’s best not to, for both of our sakes,” she said.  
She was right of course. The pair lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, which was unusual for them. Roy rubbed at the back of his neck and Riza looked around the room, seemingly looking at nothing in particular. Unable to bear the silence anymore, Roy opened his mouth to speak, but Riza beat him to it.  
“I thought we might go and visit Hughes’ grave..if you’re up for it. I have some flowers in the car.”  
How did she know me so well?   
“Thank you, I would appreciate the company.” He walked over to the drinks cabinet. “Can I pour you a glass?”  
“Very small glass, I’m driving.”  
He poured them both a glass and they sat down on sofa together. The sofa was small, but not small enough they their arms had to be touching. Still, they sat close together and Roy took strength from the contact as slight as it was.  
Roy raised his glass. “To Hughes!”  
Riza followed suit. “Hughes.”  
He took a sip of the amber liquid. “It’s good.” He licked his lips. “Good choice.”  
“You can thank Madam Christmas for the suggestion.”  
Roy shook his head. “Of course, she did.”  
“How are you?” She tilted her head. “Really..”  
He met her gaze and swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. “It’s been a rough day, and I just can’t help thinking about how poor Gracia and little Elicia are doing.”  
Riza nodded. “Today must be an awful day for them. I hope they’re not alone.”  
“They are visiting family for the week.”  
“That’s good.”  
“You know, I miss seeing all of those damn photographs of his family. I’ve seen so many that it almost feels like I was there when Elicia took her first step and rode her first bike.”  
“I’m sure Gracia would love to show you what you’ve been missing out on.”  
Roy ran his fingers through his hair. “I can barely look Gracia in the eye. It’s easier to stay in touch through the telephone.”  
It’s my fault he got caught up in this whole mess. Hughes had only ever wanted to stay alive and get home to the woman he loved.   
Roy didn’t have to say it; Riza heard his unsaid words just as loud as those he uttered aloud.  
“Don’t be a fool,” she said gently. “Hughes knew damn well what he was getting into.”  
She was looking at him again as if she could hear his inner monologue of guilt. The tender expression in her face was going to undo him if he was not careful. He needed some space before he broke down.  
“You don’t have to be strong for me,” she whispered. “Just talk to me.”  
What he craved – no needed- most from her was something she could not give. He had to be strong, because the alternative was impossible. They could never the type of relationship they both so desperately desired.  
“I just need you to listen,” he said instead.  
“We’ve known each other a long time. You can tell me anything.”  
“I mean listening without telling me I’m wrong. I just want you to understand how I feel, because sometimes logic doesn’t always trump feeling.”  
She nodded and took his hand squeezing it. They starred at one another silently. His eyes went to her lips and back to her eyes. He could just lean forward, but he kept himself in check. It’s not a good idea, he reminded himself.   
“Um, I was about to go for shower..before you arrived. I’ll just go now and we can go visit Hughes grave then.”  
He was about to stand up when Riza caught his wrist. “Roy!”  
Roy turned back to her only to find her lips on his. He froze for a moment before relaxing into the kiss. He turned his body back towards hers and opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. It was only minutes, but time seemed to stop. When they broke for air, Riza pulled back from him on the sofa. There was a blush colouring her cheeks.   
“Logic doesn’t always trump feeling,” she said.  
“What was that?” he asked.  
“I have no idea what you mean,” she lied arching her brow.   
He knew it was better to forget about the momentary loss of control, but it was difficult when he could almost feel her lips on his again.   
“It must be the alcohol,” he said. "I suppose I better get that shower now.” His eyes widened when he realised how that sounded. “I mean because I stink not because of what just happened…not that anything happened of course.”  
Great - I’m turning into babbling teenager again.  
“It’s ok, sir, I got that. You do stink.” Riza smiled at him causing his heart to skip a beat.  
“Hey! I take back my permission to allow you to speak freely.”  
~~~~~~~

The end

I hope you liked this!!!


	14. Vision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were so many things Roy missed when he lost his vision - the Lieutenant most of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from Xennariel on Tumblr: "Do you always look at me like that?"
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise. 

**Vision**

Roy blinked, his vision still a little blurry.  
“Can you see?” Marcoh pressed.  
It was strange seeing more than various hues of black and grey. He still wasn’t quite sure if this was a dream or if he was awake. The one place where colour had never deserted him. The room was quiet and Roy could feel the tension building among the occupants.  
“Sir?”  
At the sound of Riza’s voice, the colonel moved his head around until he found her concern filled eyes. She was as beautiful as he remembered, maybe even more so.  
When he saw in her in his dreams, he often saw her bleeding out on the ground or in his arms. This Riza looked healthier and was frowning. She was sitting on the bed to his right, arms crossed and her eyes full of concern. There was a white bandage around her neck where he knew a scar was hidden. She was alive. She was really alive. He had almost lost her. If it wasn’t for that Xingese girl, he would have. There were so many things he wanted to say, things he wanted to do and love he wanted to express. Everything had changed and yet nothing had at the same time. He swallowed the lump in his throat.  
“Yes - I can see,” he said finally, still staring at Riza.  
There was a whoop from other side of the room.   
“Havoc, try not to piss yourself.”  
Riza’s lips twitched at Roy’s words. He reluctantly tore his eyes away from her, but he fancied he could feel her eyes on him as Breda, Falman, Fuery and Havoc gathered around. Breda whacked him hard on the back, Fuery was openly crying while Havoc and Falman wrung his hand. The reason for the celebration Marcoh was standing back a little apart from the others.  
Marcoh shone a light in Roy’s left eye and then his right.  
“Everything looks good, but it might be awhile before your vision is back to normal. I would recommend that you avoid straining your eyes as mch as you can.”  
Roy caught Riza’s eyes. “Looks like I won’t be doing paperwork for a while, Lieutenant.”  
“Well, I think we can going easy on you just this once,” Riza replied.   
Roy threw his head back and laughed. “Are you going soft Lieutenant?”  
“Do you want to try me, sir?” Despite her words there was a blush on her cheeks.  
“Hell no, Lieutenant.” Roy turned to the doctor. “Thank you Marcoh. I promise to use my vision to improve the situation of Ishbal.”  
“I wouldn’t expect anything else.” He inclined his head. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a dinner to attend.”  
It was a burden he had gladly accepted when Marcoh had asked it for him. Even without his sight, he had been determined to get to the top even when his sight had been robbed from him. Naive perhaps, but despite all whispers to the contrary he acted like nothing had changed and his subordinates didn’t say any different.   
Roy had always believed that one day he would be punished for his crimes to make up for the blood on his hands. At first, he believed that the loss of his vision was karma biting him on the ass. He couldn’t help but feel a little guilty - like he was taking the easy way out. Lost in his own thoughts, he didn’t notice the silent conversation and meaningful looks among his subordinates.  
“We should probably leave too, sir,” said Fuery.   
“Of course,” Roy said, “I’m sure I’ll be out of this hell hole in no time.”  
The three men left the room, leaving the Colonel and his Lieutenant behind.  
“Looks like we are both stuck here for a little longer.” Riza stood up and pulled a chair closer to Roy’s bed. “Are you going to tell me what’s on your mind?”  
“Can’t hide anything from you, can I?”  
“It’s why I’m commonly known as the Hawk’s Eye.”  
She didn’t get the smile she was looking for.   
“I’m sorry,” he said.  
“For what?”  
“For almost losing myself in these tunnels, and I’m sorry for almost losing you.”  
“Colonel, we talked about this already. Let’s not torment ourselves with what could have been.”  
Or what could be.  
She was right though. Like always. That was the thing about Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. She could always look right through his bullshit and see the truth. He leaned back on his pillows and closed his eyes for a moment. He must have caught Riza off-guard when he opened them, because there was a fond smile on her face.   
I love her.   
Dangerous thoughts flitted through his mind. He knew they had his conversation years ago and had agreed that their duty was more important than their feelings, but now after almost losing so much, it was harder. Still, he knew it was the right thing to do.  
“Do you always look at me like that?” he teased.  
She raised an eyebrow. “Like I’m exasperated at you?”  
“Touché, Lieutenant.”  
And here she was saving him from himself again.

Fin


	15. A Different Sort of Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy knew he should not be running away from his best man responsibilities, but a man could take so much. Features a chance encounter with a pretty blonde in a flower garden and a terrifying dance with another blonde.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from tumblr Drabble.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise. :)

**A Different Sort of Dance**

  
Roy looked over his shoulder and sighed in relief.  
_I’ve escaped._ He sat on the stone bench and loosened his tie. _I wonder how long I can stay here without being missed?_  
It seemed like the whole of Central had turned out at Hughes’ wedding. Then Hughes had always been good at making friends. 

  
Roy knew he should not be running away from his best man responsibilities, but a man could take so much. His reputation preceded him and all the single women at the party were flocking to him. The only one he was interested in and was clearly the most unsuitable given she was now his direct subordinate. Riza looked stunning in a lemon floor length dress, and Roy was doing his best not to spend the evening staring at her. She was also almost always occupied on the dance floor by other men. Roy balled his fists at the thought. Pull yourself together. It’s just Hawkeye. His best friend had caught his eye at one point and laughed leaving him to his predicament. That was when Armstrong manhandled him and introduced him to his family, from whom he couldn’t escape until he had danced with all of his female relatives. 

Hiding out for a while in the rose garden sounded like a much better idea than sidestepping the Armstrong family. He shuddered at the prospect of Mr and Mrs Armstrong trying to snare him for of one of their daughters again. Today was the first and hopefully the last time he would ever meet Olivier Armstrong. She was as fierce as she was beautiful, but she was also a terrible dancer. Roy could have coped with the terrible dancing and the bruised shins. It was almost breaking the bones in his hand with her firm grip and the homicidal glint in her eye that he objected to.  
“Don’t think that I like you in any way,” she had sneered, nostrils flared in disgust. “I lost a wager.”  
Roy got the impression that she was not much used to losing anything. 

  
Roy’s thoughts were interrupred by the sound of rustling from behind and turned his head. He smiled when saw who it was.  
“Riza, or I suppose I should say Hawkeye.”  
He still struggled a little to forget that informality of their childhood.  
“Hello, sir.” She raised an eyebrow. “Looking for an escape?”  
“You too?” He moved over on the stone bench and patted the seat beside him.  
She shook her head. “I should go back inside.”  
“Oh I see, I suppose it would seem rather scandalous to be seen with me in the rose garden. You have your reputation after all..”  
“And you have yours, sir.”  
The terse reply caught him off guard. He opened his mouth to speak, but he was not sure of what he wanted to say. Was that hurt in her voice? Surely she knew better than to listen to all the gossip about the Flame Alchemist.  
“I should go back inside too,” he said instead.  
“You don’t need to accompany, sir.”  
He stood up and forced a smile. “How about a turn on the floor, R-Hawkeye?”  
“Oh I don’t know, sir.”  
“Please Hawkeye, when I go back inside I will be harangued for dances.” He straightened his shoulders. “Let me at least choose one of my partners.”  
She hesitated.  
“I am an excellent dancer.”  
“I’m sure you are.” Her lip twitched.  
“Hawkeye, I am a perfect gentleman. I promise I won’t lunge at you in the middle of the floor no matter what my reputation is.”  
“It’s best not to encourage gossip all the same.”  
“I promise you, there will nothing improper about my dancing.”  
“But we could garner the wrong sort of attention.”  
Roy laughed and threw back his head. “You’re embarrassed, because you think everyone will be staring at us.”  
“I don’t like being the centre of attention.”  
“You put too much stock in how people perceive me. I’ve danced with many ladies tonight. I doubt they would blink an eye.”  
Well he knew of one, but he wasn’t about to tell Riza.  
She sighed and inclined her head. “I think I can spare one dance for you.”  
He grinned. “Come then Hawkeye. Let’s dance.”

  
The pair walked back towards the party in silence, but it was a comfortable one. The party somehow seemed louder than when he had left and the party goer were even drunker.  
“Please don’t leave me alone for the rest of the night,” he whispered in Riza’s ear. He caught a whiff of her perfume as he did so. “I need you to be my bodyguard.”  
“No promises, but I’ll try my best.” Her face was a little pink and he wondered if she was finding the heat in the room as oppressive as he was.  
He spotted a waiter holding a tray of wine glasse walking in their direction. “Do you want a drink first?”  
“Yes - thank you.”  
Roy indicated to the waiter and took two glasses of red wine from the tray. He spun around to give the glass to Riza. Suddenly he lost his footing and one of the glasses went flying. He looked on helplessly as the glass of wine spilt all over Riza’s dress.  
“Oh shit! I’m sorry, your dress is ruined.”  
Roy’s face felt warm.  
“Very graceful, sir.” Riza’s eyes were laughing and her lips twitched. “To be honest I really hate this dress.”  
She looked over his shoulder at something. Roy turned around and saw the bride and groom headed towards them. It couldn’t get much more humiliating as the eyes of the whole room were on them.  
“Oh Riza, let me help you get that stain out.” She swatted Roy on the chest. “You klutz!”  
“Honestly Gracia, you don’t need to.”  
Gracia was having none of it and shepherded Riza away.  
“Real smooth, tripping over air,” Hughes said.  
“Thanks for your support, Hughes.”  
“Come on, Roy. Even you have to admit it was funny.”  
Roy scowled at his so-called friend. “It wasn’t funny at all.”  
“Although, perhaps you had an ulterior motive?” Hughes lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Perhaps you should have tried a more private place to get her out of her dress?”  
“Don’t you start Hughes.”  
“You’re thinking about her out of her dress now.”  
Roy’s cheeks flushed. “If this wasn’t your wedding day, I’d punch you.”  
“Don’t sulk, it makes you look even more baby faced.”  
Roy crossed his arms and scowled. “I am not baby faced.”

**Fin**


	16. Where She Can't Follow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy is being sent to Ishval for a dangerous mission, and Riza must stay behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the prompt ultrasilentlavender on Tumblr
> 
> Firstly, I’m sorry, I know this was meant to be fluffy but it got a little angsty. I hope you like it anyway.

  
Roy Mustang sat at his desk, his five subordinates gathered around. The mood in the office was sombre as they seemingly sensed their leader’s unease.  
“I leave for Ishbal tomorrow per the Fuhrer’s orders,” Roy announced.  
Fuery’s eyes widened beneath his glasses. “Ishbal?”  
“Makes sense,” Breda said. “Things are unsettled there since the explosion at Scar’s residence.”  
Roy nodded. “And as the highest ranking General in the East, the task falls to me.”  
“And you’re okay with that?” Havoc frowned. “You’re pretty much one of the most hated Amestris soldiers. I mean no offence, sir, but it sounds dangerous - reckless even.”  
Roy’s lip twitched, “It’s good that you recognise that danger, Havoc, since you will serve as my bodyguard. It sounds like you might have a difficult job ahead of you.”  
Havoc’s mouth dropped open and he glanced at Riza who kept her face unreadable.  
Only because Roy knew her so well, did he notice the tension in the way she held herself and the brief thinning of her lips. Riza was pissed and he was sure he was going to hear about it.  
Havoc muttered, “Rebecca’s going to be pissed.”  
Roy rolled his eyes, but he ignored him.  
“What about the rest of us?” Falman asked. “Surely you are taking more than one member of the team?"  
Roy glanced at Breda and said, “I’ll need you too, Breda.”  
Breda inclined his head and poked Havoc in the ribs.  
Roy continued, “Hawkeye, Falman and Fuery you can take care of things here.”  
“Yes, sir,” the three responded.  
Roy locked eyes with Havoc and Breda again. “You two get packed and meet me at the train station at 06:00 hours.”  
“Yes, sir,” they replied and saluted.  
Roy sighed deeply as he thought of everything that he needed to do before morning. He was exhausted even thinking about it and he suspected he wouldn’t get a wink of sleep that night. His subordinates were exchanging worried glances and he coukd sense the unasked questions on the lips of his team  
He waved a hand. “You’re all dismissed for the day.”  
Roy started on the last pile of paperwork on his desk. He heard the sounds of the men clearing up their belongings in the outer office, but he could sense someone staring at him. He looked up. As expected, Riza was still standing there. He shook his head, stood up and went around the desk. He closed the door to the outer office to allow them privacy.  
“So, out with it!”  
Riza raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”  
“I know you have an opinion, Hawkeye; you always have something to say.”  
“My opinion does not matter.”  
“Don’t be ridiculous. I always listen to you.”  
“Listening to me doesn’t always mean listening to my advice. You’re not going to change your mind, are you?”  
“No,” he admitted. “I’m sorry I have to do this.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I still want to know what you think, Hawkeye.”  
“I think it’s a mistake, as I’m sure you know.” Her eyes softened. “I don’t want to fight with you about it. I might not agree, but I understand why you are doing it.”  
“You understand too why… I can’t bring you.”  
They both stared at the sling on her arm.  
“That I can’t really argue with, but I would feel safer if I could be there to watch your back even if I can only shoot with my bad arm.”  
“I don’t want to risk you especially you’re still recovering.”  
“Don’t patronise me.” She dropped her gaze and turned away from him. “Having both the Hawk’s Eye and the Flame Alchemist in Ishval at the same time might be seen as an act of war. I know that’s the real reason.”  
He inclined his head even though she couldn’t see it. He didn’t want to be the one to say it, but Grumman had not minced his words when he told him he wanted him to travel to Ishbal as his representative and insisted Riza could not accompany him.  
“Why do you have to leave right away?” Riza asked. “Could the Fuhrer have not given you time to prepare?”  
Roy shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. The Fuhrer says ‘jump’ and like a good dog I just jump without question. Don’t get me wrong, Grumman’s a good man, and someone has to make the difficult decisions. I assume given the circumstances, it’s better not to wait.”  
Roy’s stomach had been roiling since Grumman had broken the news. It was the last place he wanted to visit again. He saw it enough in his nightmares and his memories. He hated the man he had once been out there in the desert - a monster. He had taken the stone to restore his sight and he had sworn to use his vision to help Ishbal. That was easier to do from his office in Eastern Command. This was his first real teamt and he got the impression that Grumman was waiting to see if he would sink or swim. He knew that he would have to keep the peace in Ishbal despite the hostility he was bound to meet. However, he feared that his presence there might make things worse rather than better.  
A light touch on his arm pulled him from his thoughts.  
“Will you be alright?” Riza’s eyes were concerned. “Just remember you’re not the same person you once were.”  
He smiled at her. Of course, she would understand where his mind was going.  
“I still dream about it sometimes,” he confessed not quite sure of why he was telling her this. “If all I have to do to look in eyes of those I maimed or widowed or orphaned, I suppose I got off light.”  
“We’ll never clean our hands, sir, but we can keep on fighting for what is right.”  
“Well said Lieutenant.”  
She inclined her head. “Is there anything you need me to do before you leave, sir?”  
Roy could see that she was concerned for him and decided to lighten the mood.  
“Kiss me before I go,” he joked.  
Riza looked around furtively before leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips. She stopped the kiss, but didn’t pull away fully. Instead, she stared at him like she was trying to read what he was thinking. He blinked, mouth agape for a moment, before he reached up to cradle her face in his hands and crashed his lips against hers. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her. A stray hair tickled his face and he smiled against her lips.  
“Riza,” he whispered.  
“No talking.”  
Riza bit lightly on his lower lip and he groaned in response. His whole body hummed as the sweetness of their kiss turned more frantic.  
The telephone rang shrilly causing them both to jump apart. The foolishness of their actions had been forgotten in the moment.  
The phone rang again and Riza picked it up. “General Mustang’s office. First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye speaking.” She nodded and scribbled on a piece of paper. “I’ll tell him. Thank you.”  
She relaxed the receiver and held out a piece of paper. “It’s the address of where you will be staying.”  
He took the note from her and put it into his pocket without reading it.  
“What was that? Not that I’m complaining.” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “I mean I’m definitely not complaining.”  
He looked over at her and noticed a tear tract on her left cheek he hadn’t noticed before.  
“You’re crying.”  
“I’m not anymore.” She wiped it away. “Enough about me.” She took a deep breath. “Promise me you’ll be careful out there.”  
He smiled at her. “Please don’t worry about me.”  
“It comes with the job description,” she reminded.  
“I’m not worth your tears, Riza.”  
“Let me decide that,” she whispered.  
His eyes darted to her lips. “Would it be okay if I kissed you again?”  
“You know we can’t afford any more moments of weakness.”  
“I want to kiss you, fraternisation laws be damned.” He balled his fists. “I just wish things could be different, but we made our bed a long time ago.”  
It wasn’t just the law though. They both knew they could never have a normal relationship not while their path was most likely leading them to death.  
“Perhaps we could -” Riza started.  
Roy cocked his head. “Could what?”  
“It doesn’t matter,” she said sadly.  
Of course it mattered, Roy thought.  
“Maybe on special occasions, we could pretend that we’re just Roy and Riza?”  
“Don’t you think that indulgence might make things more difficult?”  
Roy didn’t reply. He knew she was right; it was taking all his strength not to try kissing her again. Now with taste of her on his lips, he was desperate for more.  
“Roy!”  
Her use of his given name startled him.  
“When you return from Ishbal, I might consider your proposition. No promises though.”  
“I understand.” Roy threw his head back and laughed. “I intend to proposition you again, then.”

Fin


	17. In The Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last time Roy could see Riza she was badly injured. Now that he's blind, he needs his eyes more than ever.

Prompt ask on Tumblr is “Tell me”!

**In The Dark**

Roy awoke with a soft gasp. 

_Riza is alive, she’s alive, she’s alive. It’s just a dream._ His breathing slowed and he rolled over carefully. _These damn hospital beds are so narrow._

“Are you alright, sir?”

He was grateful to hear the Lieutenant’s voice.

“I’m fine now. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“I was only half-asleep.”

There was a tinge of humour in her voice. He imagined her smile. It was an image he hoped he wouldn’t forget with time.

“Sorry.”

The hustle and bustle of the hospital had quietened. Roy’s eyes could no longer tell him whether it was night or day.

“Lieutenant?”

“Yes, sir.”

“We’re alone aren’t we?”

“We are,” she replied. “Why?”

He pulled back the sheet and swung his feet over the bed.

“What are you doing?”

He feels around the bed. “Keep talking, I’m going to walk over to you.”

“Stay right there, I’ll come over to you instead.”

“No! I will have to get used to this. It’s not like I can take you home with me.”

“Roy-” She sighed. “Be careful.”

He took small steps in the direction of her voice, his hands outstretched until he found the edge of her bed.

“Watch your hands, sir. You don’t want me to shoot you.”

She spoke right into his ear and she grabbed his hands. There was a squeak as she shifted in the bed. She placed his hands on the bed again.

“You can sit down now.”

The mattress dipped as he sat. “Where are you? I don’t want to be looking in the wrong direction.”

“I’m here,” she said.

His head swivelled in her direction.

“This is highly inappropriate, you know.”

Roy raised an eyebrow. “Well, it’s scandalous enough that we’re sharing the same room.” 

“You didn’t give them much choice, refusing to be parted from me.”

Suddenly, he was filled with self doubt. “You don’t mind, do you? I mean, I have no way of reading your expression anymore.”

“I don’t, but I probably should.” She clasped his hand and squeezed her hand in return. “What’s wrong? I can tell there is something on your mind.”

“I dreamed again that you died back there.” He took a steadying breath. “I keep needing to assure myself that you are still alive. One of the last things these eyes saw was when you were badly injured. Sometimes, I fear my mind is playing tricks on me.”

“I’m okay, sir.”

“And despite everything we’re back to Colonel and Lieutenant.”

“Let’s not make things worse by rueing what we don’t have. We made our beds a long time ago.”

“I know, but … don’t you ever think about why would have happened if I never became a soldier or if I gave up on Flame Alchemy when your father refused to teach me? Where would we be now?”

“Stop it!” She extricated her hand from his. “You’re the one who keeps saying that we can’t look back.”

“I know that, but even Colonel Mustang is still that boy underneath.”

“You don’t need to remind me. That noble dream of yours is proof enough of that.”

“I’m being a sentimental fool, I know. I don’t mean to hurt you, but somehow I always do.”

“Well, I think you’re excused when you’ve experienced a near death situation.”

He chuckled. “I don’t deserve you.”

She surprised him with a chaste kiss on the cheek. 

“Did you-” His hand went to the spot she had kissed. 

“I think I hear somebody coming,” she whispered. “You better get back to your own bed before they come in.”

He smiled. “Maybe I should just stay here, give them something to talk about.”

**Fin**


	18. Cracks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much! Here’s a post Hughes’ funeral musing scene. Cue angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written on tumblr for @tea-withjamandbread.

>   
>  **Cracks**
> 
> _The vase will drop eventually no matter how long it appears to be suspended in mid-air. In the end, it will fall and crack into little pieces. Someone will have to sweep it up and put it back together._
> 
> Riza was worried. She knew Roy’s stiff upper lip and pride could only sustain him for so long. The only emotion he was outwardly showing was raw anger. 
> 
>   
>  It could not last. He was going to fall and break at some stage, and she wanted to be there for him when it did. She would not forgive herself if she wasn’t. She needed to be there - not just for him, but for herself too. 
> 
> It would not take away his pain, but it was all she could give.
> 
> The first cracks in his facade had already started to appear. After the funeral, Riza had turned away as he wiped away quiet tears. Then he put his mask back on. 
> 
> She had not been able to help him then, not in their uniforms and certainly not in public.
> 
> That was why Elizabeth entered Madame Christmas’ bar. She wore a low cut dress with a high back, her blonde hair down around her shoulders.
> 
> Riza could feel the collective eyes of the bar on her the moment she walked in. Her high heels clicked as she strode across the floor catching the eye of the proprietor.
> 
> She always felt uneasy entering Christmas’ bar no matter how welcoming the Madame and her girls made her feel. It probably did not help that she was almost always in disguise as Elizabeth when she visited. 
> 
> “Elizabeth, I’m glad you’re here, ” Chris jerked her head toward the right. “He’s out back. I’m sure you know how to find the parlour.”
> 
> Riza smiled in thanks. 
> 
> Chris grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “He’s in a bad way.”
> 
> The younger woman’s smile dimmed. “I thought so. There’s only so much that a man can take. Even Roy Mustang.”
> 
> Chris released her hand. Riza walked around the counter and through the door that led out into to the private quarters. 
> 
> The parlour was the second room to the right. Riza rapped lightly on the door with her knuckles.
> 
> “Come in,” she heard Roy say.
> 
> She opened the door and stepped over the threshold. His back was to her as she entered.
> 
> “Fancy some company? I brought a bottle of your favourite brandy.”
> 
> “Lieutenant?” He turned around, his eyes wide. “What are you doing here?”
> 
> “What do you think?”
> 
> He averted his gaze. She thought he was going to say something. Instead he turned around and took two glasses from the drinks cabinet.
> 
> He looked over his shoulder. “You’ll raise a toast to Hughes with me?”  
>   
>  She raised an eyebrow and nodded.
> 
> He took the bottle from her, and poured two glasses. He handed her one of them and gestured for her to sit down on the couch. He sat down beside her. 
> 
> He raised his glass. “To Hughes.” 
> 
> “To fallen friends,” she added.
> 
> Roy swallowed most of the contents of his glass in one go. 
> 
> “Such a waste,” he said bitterly. “Leaving behind a wife and a child like that.”
> 
> She knew what he was thinking.
> 
> We killed sons, brothers and fathers. Even daughters and sisters and mothers. We’re monsters too.
> 
> She couldn’t say it.
> 
> Roy turned his head and looked at her. “Why do you follow me, Lieutenant, when I have the deaths of so many people on my hands?”
> 
> “I believe in you,” she said. “You’re going to make the changes that this country needs.”
> 
> He sighed. “I wish I had as much belief in myself as you have in me.” 
> 
> Swallowing the remains in his glass, he continued, “Will you have another?”
> 
> She shook her head, a crease forming in her brow, and he stood up.
> 
> “And Hughes’ death was not your fault either,” she whispered.
> 
> The glass slipped from his hand.
> 
> _Smash. Crack._
> 
> Even though he had his back to her, she saw his body stiffen at her words. He turned around slowly, fists clenched tightly.
> 
> “He was trying to tell me something,” he said, his voice barely audible. “Of course, it was my fault.” He unclenched his hands and stared down at them. “All this blood, red I can’t wash off.”
> 
> “Roy, I-”
> 
> Deciding words were not what he needed at this time, Riza stood up and closed the distance between them. He only looked up when she wrapped her arms around him. 
> 
> He let out a little sob before returning the embrace, harder. He was trembling and her heart ached for him. But not only for him. It ached for Hughes, and for Gracia, and little Elicia.
> 
> _It’s not fair._
> 
> Her eyes started to sting. She knew more than anyone how unfair life could be.
> 
> “Lieutenant, just promise me you won’t die too.”
> 
> “I can’t promise that,” she said, “but I swear I’ll go out fighting if death comes for me.”
> 
> He pulled back suddenly, but his hands on her upper arms. “Close your eyes!”
> 
> She frowned. “What are you doing?”
> 
> “Please, just close your eyes.”
> 
> She obeyed and he embraced her again. Her lips twitched upward. She relaxed into his tight embrace despite the knowledge that even an act of comfort like this could get them both in trouble. She wanted to give him more, so much more. She wanted to kiss away the tears, help him forget his grief for a little while. 
> 
> “Thank you for coming.” His voice was hoarse. “How do you always know when I need you the most?”
> 
> “We’ve been together a long time.” 
> 
> She could feel a dampness on her shoulder.
> 
> She opened her eyes. “You’re crying.”
> 
>   
>  She wiped away a tear away with her thumb. 
> 
> “I thought I told you not to open your eyes.”
> 
> “You don’t need to hide from me?”
> 
> “I don’t want you to see me like this.”
> 
> “Roy, I’ve seen you at your best, and your worst. And I’m still here.”
> 
> She leaned in towards him and pressed her lips against his. 
> 
> They pulled apart and stared at one another. He closed his eyes and kissed her softly. She parted her lips and he deepened the kiss. He pulled her closer to him and she hooked her arms around his neck. His lips tasted of brandy, but she did not think it was the alcohol that was making her dizzy.
> 
>   
>  When they parted for breath, he leaned his forehead against hers. “We have to stop.”
> 
> “Your aunt could walk in any moment.”
> 
> “You know what I mean. Besides, Chris would not let anyone disturb us.”
> 
> She pulled back a little; Being so close was too tempting.
> 
> “She’s just as subtle as-”
> 
> “Hughes,” Roy finished, a sad smile on his face. “He would be devastated that he died before I found a wife.”
> 
> “Do you want me to take over his role?”
> 
> “No thank you, Lieutenant. You have more important tasks. I honestly think he was more focused on getting me married than helping me become Fuhrer.”
> 
> “I’ll miss him,” she said. “But we won’t let his death be in vain.”
> 
> He looked into her eyes. “You know you could have a normal life away from this. I wouldn’t think any less of you.”
> 
> “But then, who would protect you from yourself?” 
> 
> “And shoot me in the back if I stray from the correct path.” He grabbed her hands and squeezed. “I’m indebted to you.”
> 
> She held her breath in anticipation of him kissing her again, but her dropped her hands. He walked over to the sofa again and sat down.
> 
> “I don’t think I can sleep tonight. Can you… just this once, please stay? We could just share stories about Hughes.”
> 
> “A bit like a wake in reverse,” Riza said. She inclined her head. “You could repay me in alcohol.”.
> 
> **Fin**


	19. The Mask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Mustangs are not known for overt displays of affection. However, the general public still watch them hungrily hoping for some glimpse of the great love affair. Those that know them well, however, have witnessed their absolute devotion to one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @meiosis2 on Tumblr, who asked for Royai cuddling in public. I hope you enjoy this. You don't get any more public to be honest.

 

**The Mask**

* * *

 

There were often rumours about the Fuhrer even when was just known as the Flame Alchemist, or the Hero of Ishval. He had a reputation for seeing a different woman every night, while the First Lady was barely known at all. On occasion, the name of the Hawk’s Eye was whispered with awe - her reputation as a superb shot well known. Her identify was a mystery, however. Few outside the military knew that she was one of the then General’s most trusted subordinates: Riza Hawkeye.

That's why it was a surprise when Amestris’ most famous bachelor declared he intended to wed his aide. It was scandal of the highest political order, but Mustang hung onto his rank by a thread. When the then Fuhrer’s relationship to his wife was revealed, it was suspected of being a political match. Mustang would be next in line after Grumman if he took Riza Hawkeye as his wife. The couple weathered the storm and it wasn't long after they became The First Couple of Amestris.

The Mustangs are not known for overt displays of affection. However, the general public still watch them hungrily hoping for some glimpse of the great love affair. Those that know them well, however, have witnessed their absolute devotion to one another.

As one of the Mustangs inner circle, Kain Fuery, can see how the couple always gravitate towards one another when in same room and how they lock eyes with each other when they think nobody else is looking. This was something he had noticed even in his early days with the team. He can only hope that someday he will find someone that will love him that intensely.  

Even after the marriage of Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye, rumours continued - nasty ones about a loveless marriage, or calling Riza a gold digger. The Mustangs must know, but they have never addressed these rumours maintaining an integrity and strength of character that many others couldn't. 

Fuery can feel the excitement in the air. Fuhrer Mustang was whistling in his office that morning. 

Today is the day the Fuhrer will announce his plans for a democracy, and the excitement is catching among Mustang’s men.

Mustang is looking at his pocket watch. The First Lady had promised to follow behind, but she is running late. Mustang does not want to start without her.

They are standing on a makeshift stage in the grounds of the Fuhrer’s mansion. Throngs of people have gathered for this special announcement, which will also be broadcast live on the wireless.

The sound system is Fuery’s responsibility.  He smiles as he fiddles with the buttons.

Falman checks the microphones. “Testing. 1-2-3!”

Fuery gives him a thumbs up. “Sounds good, Falman. Thanks.”

He looks out over the stage. There is a lot of grumbling in the crowd.

“Why is this taking so long?”

“What is the Fuhrer doing?”

Fuery frowns and checks his own watch. They are right. He looks over at Mustang whose head is bent as he is pacing.

“Where the hell is she?” Mustang mumbles. “This is important to her. She should be here.”

Breda steps over to him, “Sir, I think you're going to have to go ahead with the announcement without her.”

Mustang glares at him. “Don't be ridiculous.”

“The crowd are getting restless,” Breda continues, “and a wireless broadcast is expected.”

“It's either that or make something up on the fly.” Havoc shrugs his shoulders. “She’ll understand. It's not like you've made this plan a secret. The rumours have been circulating for weeks.”

“It's not like her to be late,” Mustang says. “Did she take her security detail?”

Fuery’s eyes widen.  _Surely he is overreacting_?

“Yes, sir.” Havoc nods. “And Major Armstrong decided to accompany them.”

“Good.” Mustang sounds distracted. “Uh - send some men to check up on them. They should have been here at least a half hour ago.”

Havoc salutes and gets on his radio making orders.

Fuery feels compelled to speak. “I'm sure she's fine, sir.”

Mustang meets his eyes and forces a small, brief smile before turning away. Fuery wonders if there is any substance to the man’s worry. He hopes not.

Mustang pulls up his shoulders and adjusts his mask. He becomes the Fuhrer once more. It's almost terrifying the way the man can separate his private and public persona. The Fuhrer steps on the podium, and he walks over to the microphone.

Fuery scans the crowd. The fact that the Fuhrer is alone for once is not missed by the crowd, because that is rare. The First Lady is usually at his side during public events like this. Still the crowd are focused on Mustang.

The Fuhrer speaks out in a loud and clear voice, “There have been many rumours about my intentions for Amestris, and today I wish to settle them at last.” He looks around at all the curious faces. “Today, I want to formally announce that I intend to return Amestris to the people. I want to make this country a democracy. Starting tomorrow, I will be making some provisions to make this transition as smooth as possible.”

 

 

A loud bang sounds causing Fuery to jump. He winces at the screech of the microphone feedback he inadvertently caused. He is turning the knob when he sees the smoke billowing from the east side of the mansion. He takes a sharp intake of breath just as gunshots and screams follow. He jumps up and looks around, frantic.

“Where is she?” 

The Fuhrer’s voice rings out among the chaos.

Fuery’s head snaps to Mustang. He is no longer on the podium. His face has turned as white as chalk. He looks like a man. His mask is gone now; he is no longer the Fuhrer - just a man terrified for the welfare of the woman that he loves. He yells out orders, but there is a hysterical edge to his voice. Fuery finds it difficult to make out what he is saying with the screams from the crowd. He abandons his post to see if he can find out more.

Havoc is already on the radio. “What's going on over there?”

Mustang swipes the radio from Havoc’s hands. “This is the Fuhrer - tell me what the hell is going on?” His expression darkens as he listens. “An alchemist? Make sure you catch him.” He curses under his breath. “The wounded are priority.”

Havoc pats Fuery on the back. “Just a small explosion, but they are closing in on the  alchemist.”

Fuery’s hands form into fists.

“Have you seen my wife?” Mustang demands to the person on the other end of the radio.

Havoc and Fuery look at one another warily. She is still out there. Fuery feels a gnawing pain in his stomach. He can't imagine how Mustang must be feeling.

Mustang hands the radio back to Havoc. “They haven't seen her.” He looks distant, almost breakable in that moment. “They said there were some injuries. I must go look for her.”

Fuery glances over at the podium where Breda is standing. When Breda looks over and arches an eyebrow, Fuery shakes his head.

“You're needed here, sir,” Fuery says before he can stop himself. “You can't just disappear.”

“He's right, sir.” Havoc puts his hand on Mustang’s shoulder. “Sir, you should probably help ease the panic.”

Mustang just stares at Havoc blankly for a moment. He shakes his head and rubs his forehead.

“You're right. Of course, you're right. I'm probably worrying over nothing.”

He returns to the podium, and Fuery can see it is taking every inch of his strength to pull on the mantle of Fuhrer once more. The crowd can't see his hands tremble, but Fuery can. He can see the tension in the man’s shoulders, how he is ready to snap into action at any moment and how desperately he wishes he is somewhere else.

The Fuhrer’s voice does not betray any of Mustang’s emotions.

“Everybody needs to stay calm,” he continues. “There is no reason whatsoever to panic.”

The Fuhrer's words have an immediate effect on the crowd as they turn to the stage.

“What's going on?” someone calls.

“Are we safe?” asks another.

“Stay where you are,” Mustang says. “The cause of the explosion has been identified and my men are chasing down the perpetrator as we speak.” He gestures around the garden with his hands. “This is the safest place for you to be. Obey whatever orders you are given. I assure you we have this all under control.”

Breda steps up onto the podium and whispers in Mustang’s ear handing him the radio.

Fuery is relieved to see that Breda take over from Mustang, who is on the radio again. He can't tell what the Fuhrer is saying, but he’s holding onto the radio so tight that his knuckles are white. It doesn't look like good news. Mustang is pacing around the side of the stage and Fuery moves closer.

“They have him,” Mustang says to him. “The alchemist.”

“That's good, right?”

“Of course, but people were injured.” Mustang balls his hands into fists. “And I still haven't heard from-”

He trails off.

“Pardon my saying so, sir, but she's probably already making her way here, determined to make sure you're alright.”

“I sure hope so, because I'm useless without her.” He smiles weakly. “You're a good kid, Fuery.”

Fuery can't understand why people still refer to him as a kid. As much as it annoys him, he will rarely contradict them.

 

 

It has only been a few  minutes, but it feels a lot longer to all those present.

Soldiers run around the stage, bent heads and hushed whispers. Some brief Mustang, who is still pacing. Breda is calming the crowd and answering the questions that come his way.

Everyone is confused. Afraid. What has happened? Fuery still isn't sure.

“The culprit has been apprehended and taken into custody,” he hears Breda say.

The crowd cheers.

“Fuhrer Mustang,” they chant.

The Fuhrer steps forward and waves at the crowd. This is what Roy Mustang is good at, even though Fuery knows that he hates this part of the job. The pomp and celebrity was never the reason he became Fuhrer. Still, he has a knack for it, and his public love him.

Mustang’s smile doesn't quite meet his eyes. He is scanning the crowd as he waves. Fuery knows who he is looking for a glimpse of; Mustang won't rest until he has seen his wife with his own eyes.

“Sir?” Havoc calls out.

Mustang turns around and Fuery follows suit. There is a small group of soldiers coming up the stairs, two of whom are supporting an injured woman.

Mustang’s eyes widen when he sets his eyes on her. Her blonde hair is smeared with blood, her dress black with soot, and she has a nasty cut over her eye. Despite all this, her eyes are blazing with something. Fuery isn't sure what it is.

 _Is that the First Lady_?

“Riza,” Mustang whispers.

She slips out from the grip of the soldiers and rushes towards Mustang, seemingly blind to everything and everyone else. She doesn't look as if she should be walking, let alone running.

One of the soldiers steps forward to stop her, but Havoc gets in their way. “Let her.”

Mustang runs to meet her halfway and pulls her into his arms. She collapses against him and she wraps her arms around his neck.

“Roy,” she says.

“You're alright. I was so worried when I heard the explosion.” He wipes a tear from her cheek. “Hey, don’t cry.”

“You fool, you're crying too.”

Fuery and Havoc share a relieved look.

There is a collective gasp from the crowd who have finally noticed the emotional reunion unfurling on the stage above them. Even from below, the spectators can see that they are crying in each other's arms.

The pair drop to the ground, still holding each other tight. Mustang tenderly kisses her hair as she sobs against his chest. They are blind to everything but each other right now, completely oblivious to spectacle they are creating.

Fuery smiles. 

Today is the day the whole of Amestris finally realises just how much the Fuhrer and his wife love one another.

 

**FIN**

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to send me prompt requests. :)


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